Midterm Question #3 for Global Social Work
3. Consider what we have learned about child development and cooperative and competitive societies. Imagine you were asked to consult with parents at a preschool in a country that had been deprived of up-to-date social work, psychological, and educational concepts. The parents wonder how they can help prevent their children's engagement in violence and instead be productive and self-assertive.
First provide several points you would want to make, with the scholarly reasons why.
Then, drawing from what you have learned from Healey and the readings, describe the process you would engage in with the parents so they felt empowered and interested in what you have to say.
Jack Kelley
ReplyDeleteIn the scenario where I am working with these parents who are seeking help in finding ways to direct their child away from unproductive activities and violence, I would use themes and ideas from one of my favorite books, Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire. In this book, Freire attempts to create a new educational theory which seeks to address the dialectical relationship between oppressed and oppressor by uniting with the oppressed, learning from their experiences, and allowing them to discover their means towards liberation. I think this book is helpful in understanding situations when a social worker is planning a kind of intervention which seeks to change behavior. The book states: “‘Self-deprecation is another characteristic of the oppressed, which derives from their internalization of the opinion of the oppressors hold of them. So often do they hear that they are good for nothing, know nothing and are incapable of learning anything – that they are sick, lazy, and unproductive – that in the end they become convinced of their own unfitness” (Freire, p. 61, 1993). For many young people from oppressed communities, these ideas of inadequacy are propagated by practically every system they engage with, and some time come from their own home as well. Parents who are oppressed people too will unconsciously push these narratives. I think a starting point in working with this family is suggesting that knowledge of self is a way to liberate the mind from oppressive structures, and that by being a family system which uphold the dignity of the child as a human being and teaching that child about the ways in which their community is being oppressed, they can begin to find ways in which life is worth living and that the idea it is not is one which is propagated by the oppressors themselves.
Lynne M. Healy’s International Social Work provided ways in which a social worker can empower these parents, even drawing off some of the ideas in Freire’s book as well. Healy identifies a client’s capacity to deal with problems or concerns in their lives as the main obstacle in their confidence to finding a solution: “Building the capacity of the client is central to creating approaches that will last over time...In many situations it is easier to focus on capacity building in a development setting in which the luxury of time and peace allow for participatory planning” (Healey, p. 280, 2008). In order to build capacity, other issues in the family system will need to be identified and resolved to create space for resolving the already identified issue with the child. In order to build the confidence of the parents, this capacity building process must be done in collaboration with the client rather than simply for them. As Freire explains, in order to empower the oppressed the teacher must also be the student by learning from the oppressed, speaking to the idea that “Only through comradeship with the oppressed can the converts understand their characteristic ways of living and behaving, which in diverse moments effect the structure of domination” (Freire, p. 61, 1993). The solution used is what Freire terms as praxis, the method of approach which seeks to reflect and adapt plans and interventions as conditions change. For Healey and Freire, this can only happen with the involvement and collaboration of the parents, in both determining the correct course of action and empowering them to recognize the solutions and see them through.
I truly agree with you Jack,parents are the cause of their children's behaviour or attitude because they always want their children to be whom they want them to be but not what the children want to be. They always compare them with other children forgetting that they are all different in their own ways. Sometimes, it's disheartening when parents lure their children into such competitive lifestyle which always bring problem to them as parents. I think parents should allow their children to explore in their own ways by guiding them but not to tell them what to do or impose something on them. Every child is unique in his or her own way so parents should rather encourage them to cooperate with others instead of competing with them.
DeleteThere have been major historical changes in the world regarding the freedom and rights of the child. Although contemporary society is now guided by the principles of human freedom and rights, parents still use the old ways of bringing up children. In practice, I can see that parents have doubts about new and old methods of parenting. The first reason for this is lack of knowledge. The second reason is parental defense. Most of the causes of inappropriate behavior of parents 'children indicate a negative impact on the phone, TV or other children' s inappropriate behavior. However, parents forget one important thing about the fact that our children's behavioral troubles arise at home and need to be solved there.
ReplyDeleteAs I work in preschool - primary school, I can share a few tips for parents that I recommend when solving with child abuse behavior:
First of all, children need rules, boundaries and most important agreements. Setting rules and boundaries does not really mean controlling a child. A study (David. A Nelson,1998) in Russia has revealed that parenting control often leads to child relation aggression. What matters is how these rules and limits are created and consolidated. If we create rules for children that we do not follow or hope that children will understand how they should behave, and punish them for mistakes, children will show inappropriate behavior.
Another rule would be to show and talk about feelings. I think parent can minimize dysfunctional forms of aggression in their children, not aggressively behave in front of the child, teach children to know their emotions from a young age, and always talk and discussion for you child. Children need to express both positive and negative emotions. Familiar with their feelings, the child learns to control and express his feelings properly.
Parents should try to spend as much time with the child as possible. Preschool age is a very important and essential period, at that time the relationship between children and parents is formed, understanding and ways of communication. Being with a child, we not only provide him with family values and norms of behavior but give him inner security.
Samanta,
DeleteI very liked your opinion about parenting styles. And I totally agree with you! Sometimes parent do not to recognize, that some of their educational methods are inappropriate, because how you are said, that they have defense mechanisms. I also agree with you, that first of all, children learn everything from their parents, so parents are very important in early childhood education. In my opinion sometimes parent do not want to resognize that in child education they made some mistakes, therefore, their initial reaction is defense. Also, in my opinion, parents spend less time with their children and it has negative consequences for children. It is why sometimes childrens are increasingly becoming aggressive. I think for them it is the most effective way to get the parent's attention. Also in my opinion, children need rules and boundaries to learn social behavior standards. If parent do not understand this and does not limit the boundaries of children, they can customize everything in life according to their wishes. And then childrens grow up, see life reality they could be very difficult to live in society and to maintain good relationships. If we how social workers seing this problem, we should work with parents that they understand the important role of early childhood education and how their parenting style could effect childrens life in future. Also I very liked you mind that ,, being with a child, we not only provide him with family values and norms of behavior but give him inner security‘‘. I think that this your observation it is perfect!
Samanta Montvydaite,
DeleteI truly support the point you emphasized on the importance of parental style and I too share a similar concept in nurturing the child. Parents always fails identify that the children also has the human rights that they deserve, like any other in the society and follows a parenting style where it is totally neglected. The double blind theory emphasis this concept in which the child get confused with the parental defense as mentioned by you, that the parents impose on their children. The child is instructed not to follow certain behavior which the parents claims to be inappropriate but the parents visibly does the same in front of the child. Use of mobile phone can be taken as an example to this. Being after insisting the child not to use mobile phones, the parents use the same in front of the child making the child confused and which later lead to the development some sort of thought process in the child to think that lying is not a big deal as my parents practice it so. The behavioral issues that the child faces are the product of the nurturing style adopted by the parents and its foundation is laid in the family alone. Being a good model to the child and equally maintaining joyful and productive time spent with the child can help them to be in a positive atmosphere of learning things from their parents, with whom they share the special bond. The best tutor for any child is there parents alone and I agree to your concept expressed here regarding the parenting interventions.
Before outlining my answer I think that it is important to talk aboud child agression too. Aggression is generally defined as behavior enacted with the intent to hurt or harm others. Also I think that in our days childrens more use relational aggression as behaviors that harm others through damage (or threat of damage) to relationships (e.g., Crick et al., ). For me it is like manipulation. It is intresting, but manipulation use not jus childrens, but also their parents. It is one of psychologically controlling parenting styles. Stylistic patterns of parenting that constrain, invalidate, or manipulate children's psychological and emotional experience and expression have been referred to as psychological control (Barber, 1996). And this process I notice many times not just in my social work practise, but also in my close enviroment. Also it is important to know what parenting style is in family. Because the research also assessed ways that preschool age children's relational aggression might be associated with parenting styles. For example in families where used authoritarian parenting style childrens often rebel against parents. If the family has submissive parenting style, ussually childrens in these families do not know boundaries, sometimes they will act dangerous ( for example they can start communicating with inappropriate friends companies, getting involved in fights). So it is important that parents should be responsive, warm and to use reasoning and persuasion, not to use autharitarian control ( Brofenbrenner, 1970). For my opininion need to find middle between athoritarion and submissive parenting styles.
ReplyDeleteTalking about parents which I will consult, first of all I will ask them what do they think what parents they are to childrens. It will be important for me like social worker to find out which parenting style is in family. Also it could help for parent that they could imagine or to know why child engagement in violence. In my opinion also is important not to judge parents even they parenting style is harmful for child evolution, but to encourage them. In my opininion it is very important to say parents, that their are not bad parents, just that their family is currently in crisis. And I could help them to solve some problems. Also one of my methods of working with this family will be for first meeting invite parents and the child. This could help to me, because I could see how problem see parents and the child himself. Also I could see how families members comunicate to each others. I also refer the family to a psychologist consultation. Because to solve psychological problems of the family, I didn‘t have enough competence. But I would collaborate with a family psychologist so that both could make a family support plan. Because cooperation and family support are, in my opinion, very important factors in the helping process. Only feeling support can make the family easier to receive help. So it would be very important part in my work case. Also I will find out are parent have social skills, or maybe they do not have enough social skills so why they have some problems with child. If they do not have enough social skills I will offer to them go to positive parenting courses.
In conclusion, I will ask parents how they think what kind of help they need. The most important thing in these consultation will be not to rush parents, but I will want that they themselfs find out ways, which could help to solve their families problems.
Diana,
DeleteI very liked your observations that our days childrens more use relational aggression as behaviors that harm others through damage (or threat of damage) to relationships. In practice, I notice that most children complain of emotional bullying. And I think this type of aggression arises from the excessive expectations of parents or school, promoting the competition at school. Schools and parents should be more concerned about the damage caused by competition and promote community. Parents can prevent these difficulties by participating actively in the life of a child's school and classroom. It has been noticed that if parents not only are interested in the child's learning but also participate in school life, children learn to respond positively to their achievements, communicate more freely with their peers and teachers, improve children's self-esteem, and feel management skills. Also I very liked you proposed method that ,, working with this family will be for first meeting invite parents and the child. “ I think this method not only helped to see family mutual communication, but also helped to identify family features and roles. This method is important because the behavior of the child is influenced by the family in one way or another, so the social worker first needs to know his family when solving the problem.
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DeleteDiana, I tottaly agree that is important talk about children aggression. I believe, that the main causes why child used aggressive and manipulating is because he teach it from the parents. Many parents used manipulating like one of the controlling parenting styles. In Lithuania, I believe it comes from Soviet Union, when people thinks that the best way to control their children was authoritarian parenting style. However, I like your work tasks, how to work with family step by step. Firstly, social worker must know a family, what kind of relationships they have. Secondly, never judge parents or children, they is not guilty, they just do not have right knowledge. And thirdly, find the best social work metods for work with family. Also, I am like a social worker used to work with your metods too, but I should say about positive parenting courses. In Lithuania many people do not convince these parenting courses, because they believe, that it is the last step before specialist take away them children. We as a social worker must change this opinion and do our best to help family solved all social problems. This ir the one of the best job, I have ever read.
DeleteThe first point I would want to make is that in order to provide any kind of consultation, it is important to understand what kind of parenting style is used. Is it important in their family to instill respect for and obedience to authority? How does that look in home life? I would also want to know if the children belong to the family or to the collective society, since this would have an impact on how the children are raised (Hart, et al., 1998, p. 688). I would inform the parents that the parenting style often mirrors that of the larger culture (p. 688) and that this is something they should be mindful of—not to be the slave of the culture, but to parent the way they see best. I would then educate them regarding what the research shows. If they want to reduce the likelihood that their child uses violence, then it is important for the mother to be “warm and responsive” (p. 689). This may be difficult when the child begins acting out, but the research shows that children whose mothers display such characteristics “are more socially competent and less aggressive with their peers” (p. 689). Likewise, fathers must be directly engaged in the process of child rearing as well. The research shows that fathers should display more positive affect and should be more physically playful to decrease the likelihood of aggression (p. 689).
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, a conversation should take place about how best to lead the child to do what the parents want the child to do. What style is best. I would suggest to them that coercion is not the best route. This is based on research which shows that “Russian mothers and fathers who reported using more coercion had sons and daughters who were rated by teachers as being more overtly aggressive with peers” (p. 694).
I would also share information about cooperative societies versus competitive societies. The evidence suggests that societies which are more competitive are more likely to foster an environment conducive to violence (Bonta, 1997, p. 305). If they want their child to learn communication skills which make problem solving more likely, perhaps it is best to raise him/her in an environment that is centered on cooperation (p. 301). At the same time, I would make it clear that there does not need to be a complete lack of competition in order for there to be lack of aggression. There simply needs to be a commitment in their household and in their community to upholding nonviolence as a central element of their ethical system (p. 312).
Furthermore, in Healy’s discussion about culture (pp. 244-245), she posits that it is important to discuss values with clients. For example, when a West Indian parent says that child beating is important…the social worker can encourage exploration of whether it is corporal punishment…or well-disciplined children” that is the important value. So, for these parents, I would begin by discussing their values and if I hear anything that might sound inappropriate by reasonable standards, I will use the same investigative methods as proposed by Healy. Moreover, self-determination of the client is very important. Decisions cannot be see as coming from the social worker, especially by force. The parents should be given the space to come to decisions on their own. I am here to guide them and provide them with information and feedback while they make decisions. It is an active consultation. By “active” I mean that they are actively involved in the process.
I liked your observations that parents should display more positive affect and should be more physically playful to decrease the likelihood of aggression. Parents are the main figure, which can minimize dysfunctional forms of aggression in their children. It is important to give a sense of security for their child, not let child to lose parental attention, show yourself as a good example in trying to cooperate and living without much or any violence in their lives, because child learns everything at home from parents and brings it to another environment.
DeleteI noticed your point, that parents should not to be the slave of the culture, but to parent the way they see the best. I think, that each parents desire the best for their child, but parents can’t behave with their children how they want and how they know the best. In case of Lithuania there is accepted the law on childlessness, which restricts parents to behave the way they want. Parents are in fear, because due to a few mistakes, child may be taken away from the family. Our parents/grandparents grew differently than we did, it was normal to beat or teach children with belt, now it is illegal and defined as a criminal if you use physical or other forms of violence against the child. In Lithuania, it is still normal believed from Soviet times, that it is normal to beat children and a lot of parents are opposed to innovation and believe they know best how to educate their children. I think, we should change our thinking that we are experts in child education and then change our behavior in parenting.
First, keeping peaceful and nonviolent worldview, I as a global social worker try to join social work, psychological and educational concepts in one way, trying to build peaceful and nonviolent environment in preschool and promote cooperation in working with others. Most of the world's nonviolent and peaceful societies base their peaceful worldviews on cooperation and an opposition to competition, living without much or any violence in their lives. Many of these societies are highly noncompetitive and have a strong commitment to nonviolence, building a psychology of peacefulness and an opposition to aggression and violence (Bonta, 1997). According Bonta (1997), Legkauskas (2015), competition fosters aggression and it is important to teach friendliness as value and teach how to achieve constructive goals and conflict resolutions - wait, negotiate, share, help, cooperate. As a social worker I would want more practice children in cooperative learning and socialized children with cooperative games and play activities, try to show, that competition is really close with violence and aggressiveness. For this, together with psychologist's help I would like to develop and strengthen the social and cooperative values and personal qualities of children that are important for cooperation like to manage emotions, respect to other person, self - esteem, positive thinking, teamwork. Also, I would want to practice cooperative learning for teachers, because teachers behaviour in class is very important, for example, in learning cooperation it is needed to praise all children, not one. Finally, I would want to work with parents and consult them trying interested and motivated them to felt empowered and interested in this. The children are thought to learn their incorrect behavior from their peers, and parents have the responsibility of correcting those bad examples (Bonta, 1997). Parents have encouraged cooperation and inhibiting misbehaviors, teach their children avoid antisocial and aggressive actions, give a sense of security for their child, not let child to lose parental attention, show yourself as a good example in trying to cooperate and living without much or any violence in their lives, it means not to show aggression, control, violence, dominance or competition examples (Bonta, 1997; Legkauskas, 2015). According Hart, Nelson (1998), Legkauskas (2015), parenting styles and marital interactions linked to childhood aggressive behavior. Maternal and paternal coercion, lack of responsiveness and psychological control, visible patterns of physical and relationship aggression in the family correlated with children aggressiveness with peers. So, as a social worker, I would try to explain for parents, that exactly parents are the main figure, which can minimize dysfunctional forms of aggression in their children.
ReplyDeleteFirst, keeping peaceful and nonviolent worldview, I as a global social worker try to join social work, psychological and educational concepts in one way, trying to build peaceful and nonviolent environment in preschool and promote cooperation in working with others. Most of the world's nonviolent and peaceful societies base their peaceful worldviews on cooperation and an opposition to competition, living without much or any violence in their lives. Many of these societies are highly noncompetitive and have a strong commitment to nonviolence, building a psychology of peacefulness and an opposition to aggression and violence (Bonta, 1997). According Bonta (1997), Legkauskas (2015), competition fosters aggression and it is important to teach friendliness as value and teach how to achieve constructive goals and conflict resolutions - wait, negotiate, share, help, cooperate. As a social worker I would want more practice children in cooperative learning and socialized children with cooperative games and play activities, try to show, that competition is really close with violence and aggressiveness. For this, together with psychologist's help I would like to develop and strengthen the social and cooperative values and personal qualities of children that are important for cooperation like to manage emotions, respect to other person, self - esteem, positive thinking, teamwork. Also, I would want to practice cooperative learning for teachers, because teachers behaviour in class is very important, for example, in learning cooperation it is needed to praise all children, not one. Finally, I would want to work with parents and consult them trying interested and motivated them to felt empowered and interested in this. The children are thought to learn their incorrect behavior from their peers, and parents have the responsibility of correcting those bad examples (Bonta, 1997). Parents have encouraged cooperation and inhibiting misbehaviors, teach their children avoid antisocial and aggressive actions, give a sense of security for their child, not let child to lose parental attention, show yourself as a good example in trying to cooperate and living without much or any violence in their lives, it means not to show aggression, control, violence, dominance or competition examples (Bonta, 1997; Legkauskas, 2015). According Hart, Nelson (1998), Legkauskas (2015), parenting styles and marital interactions linked to childhood aggressive behavior. Maternal and paternal coercion, lack of responsiveness and psychological control, visible patterns of physical and relationship aggression in the family correlated with children aggressiveness with peers. So, as a social worker, I would try to explain for parents, that exactly parents are the main figure, which can minimize dysfunctional forms of aggression in their children.
ReplyDeleteIndre,
DeleteI totally agree that it's important to educate parents and teachers when trying to change children's behaviors, as they are the primary models and modifiers of behavior. I also like that you mentioned emotional regulation, respect for others, self - esteem, positive thinking, and teamwork for children. Depending on the community, I would wonder what other values parents and teachers feel are important to teach their children, and how we can integrate those values in our interventions as global social workers to help engage and empower caregivers.
Amanda, thanks for your observations, I really appreciate it !
DeleteToday, children learn to respect others not to fear but to observe adult behavior. Children are programmed to imitate their parents ... If the parents behave respectfully, the children learn to respect others ... If you beat the children to control, the self-lost children become aggressive in the long run. (Grey, J. (2001). ‘‘Children come from heaven: Positive Child Education Methods“. Vilnius: Alma littera. p.27).
ReplyDeleteSo in my opinion the first and very important environment for a child's development is the family in which it grows. Parents are the first to model their child's behavior, so parenting should be understood as a very important task, because the welfare of the child depends on it. Only by educating through positive education methods does the child learn to trust and respect others.
‘‘There is no doubt that threats, punishments, making guilty, encourages the child to behave in the same way to regain self-control. (Grey, J. 2001. p. 52). The reasons why children in schools are disobedient, disrespectful, aggressive and cruel are clear... because of aggression at home, boys become too active or can no longer concentrate. Girls' aggressiveness turns against them themselves, overcoming low self-esteem and eating disorders.(Grey, J. 2001. p. 55).
Pagal Grey, J. (2001) when we don‘t want to discourage our children, we spit them. Such an approach is also ineffective, as is fear-based education.
Thus, it can be concluded that the lack of positive parenting skills promotes children's competition, self-confidence and aggressive behavior. I think when a mother is pregnant, parents should all attend positive parenting courses without exception. This could be like prevention: parents could prepare for future parenting challenges and learn to respond appropriately to their child's feelings. One of the most important tasks for parents is to educate the child's emotional intelligence so that the child learns to emulate emotions in the right way.
In this case, I think, parents lack the skills of positive parenting, because they wonder how they can help prevent their children's engagement in violence and instead be productive and self-assertive. So, I would first motivate parents by giving them the feedback that they are great parents and trying to raise their child the way they can. I would like to explain that there is still a problem that can be solved together with the specialists and that they will be able to do it as conscious parents. I would also suggest that we set the goals we will pursue in the process of change, encourage solutions and actively participate in decision-making. And addition I would offer positive parenting courses based on successful stories to whom these courses helped and has made positive changes.
The results of one research show that therapeutic parenting interventions have contributed to positive family change, although the complex behavior of children has not disappeared, but the situation has improved significantly. Research has shown that changing family behavior with children, empathy, cooperation with professionals, parents' desire to change, trust in professionals are important for long-term family changes. (Stevens, M. (2018). Parents' experiences of services addressing parenting of children considered at-risk for future antisocial and criminal behaviour: A qualitative longitudinal study. Children and Youth Services Review (95) 183-190).
I tottaly agree with your opinion that one of the ways to solve the problem is to attend groups of positive parenting skills. But there is one problem I encountered when I was working with families at social risk. In Lithuania, many parents has a skeptical attitude about groups of positive parenting skills. For example, families at social risk avoid attending positive parenting courses because of fear, condemnation, gossip, do not recognize problems that they are usually unable to solve, feel frustrated, and do not want to take the proposed help. Positive parenting courses are a punishment for them, and any punishment people avoid. Before attending training, parents often do not care about the importance of parenting, engage in activities, work, and life. Some parents find out how to educate their children about the lack of time and various addictions. And when confronted with child behavior problems, they tend to transfer responsibility for the education of children to the employees of the institutions rather than assume responsibility for them. In my opinion, one of the main tasks as a social worker is to try to change family attitudes by keeping them warm, sincere, encouraging and illegal. Be sensitive to the experience of parents and other personal qualities that strengthen the relationship with the family. Being able to provide relevant information, create a cozy and secure environment, as well as helping them understand that professional help is a completely normal factor.
DeleteI like your ideas, especially with positive parenting course. Every parent grapples with this issue. If you have young children, you know how everyday can be a struggle if your child doesn’t behave. Even the most patient and nurturing parents can sometimes “lose it” when are facing a defiant little human. Constantly changing world, fast life rhythm dictates new needs for parents raising children: what was suitable fifty; thirty or even ten years ago now cannot be suitable for contemporary parents. In Lithuania parenting skills training becomes more and more popular for parents to learn new skills and to get support while bringing up their children. Why the course is good? In this course parents, understanding of child growth and development: birth - adolescence - young adult, support for children as learners at each grade level. Also exchange of information between educators and parents about concerns and goals for children and support for health, safety and nutrition of children. Besides, social risk families often lack parental skills, so they fail to educate their children, do not provide adequate care, do not create physical, emotional, and psychological environment necessary for healthy and harmonious development of the child. But one disadvantage, social risk family members (fathers and mothers) are not interested in active participation in positive parenting skills building activities. In conclusion, positive Discipline in Everyday Parenting helps parents learn how to teach children effectively, while respecting their rights.
Deletea) To begin with, it is important to note, that the style of education and parents' general behaviour in the family, towards their partner and the children have a massive impact on children's development and behaviour. Not everyone is constantly aware of that.
ReplyDelete→ For example, responsive and supportive behaviour towards the child are associated with less aggressive behaviour and stronger social competence, while manipulation of the child (“psychological control”) and coercion as well as physical punishment are linked to children's aggression. (cf. Hart /Nelson, 1998)
→ Furthermore, marital hostile conflicts and displaying verbal aggression are also known to bring emotional tension and insecurity to children and therefore could support tendencies towards aggressive behaviour. (cf. Hart /Nelson, 1998)
In a broad perspective on competition and cooperation, Bruce D. Bonta (1997) reviewed a large amount of literature and research on so-called peaceful societies, where violent incidences are very rarely to be seen. Comparative results are, that an emphasis on cooperation in social life promotes peace , whereas education towards competition is seen as supporting violence. Many parents in these peaceful societies start neglecting their children when they turn 2 or 3 years of age (evoking heavy periods of temper tantrums) so the child is shown, that the worth of community is everything and one has to subordinate to that. Considering that, I can imagine, that an emphasis on cooperation in education but without neglecting the child can have a strong positive impact on social competence of children without promoting violence OR total assimilation. (cf. Bonta, 1997)
Other theoretical /scientific content that I would mention, if it suits the particular case are:
- the psychoanalytic approach to aggression, which states, that it is a normal phenomenon and has to be expressed. Therefore it is useful to let the child find other ways to express or articulate anger and frustration, e.g. sports or games. (cf. Stangl, 2019)
- Haim Omer stressed the importance of responsibility and presence in children's lives for a successful education. Using this premiss, he developed his concept of 'New Authority' and non-violent resistance which could be useful for parents, whose kids already tend to be aggressive. (cf. Omer, 2010)
- Using the concept of modelling (first constructed by A. Bandura) can be interesting for parents who tend to be fighting /having hostile conflicts at home and unknowingly teach their child(ren) to solve conflicts as well in aggressive ways. (cf. Stangl, 2019)
In any case I would try to tell the importance of sensitive and accepting behaviour of parents and the education towards articulation of feelings as the first step to be able to consciously handle own feelings and emotions.
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Deleteb) For making the parents feel interested in the things I want to tell them, and to make them feel empowered, it is necessary to consider a few aspects in the process of counselling: To begin with, it is always necessary to start where the people are, thus it is important not to preach of concepts and theories of pedagogics and psychology but instead to find a way to adjust talking and advice to the 'lifeworld' of the parents. For this it might be useful to consider certain approaches of intercultural communication /competence and to let the parents find their own approach of integrating the advice into the education of their child. As Hart and Nelson stated, it can be useful “exploring the unique contributions of father's and mother's parenting styles to children's social competence.“ (Hart, Nelson, 1998) Of course, the concept of empowerment itself, for example described by Sadan (2004) is of importance as well: Confidence has to be established through putting in focus the parents' strengths and resources. It would also be useful to start with some 'quick fixes' for peripheral problems in the parents-child relationship to support their parents' self-efficacy (cf. Bandura, 1977). These processes are also to be conducted in an intercultural way (similar to what Dickens and Groza (2004) describe for the case of Romanian Child Welfare) instead of imposing 'western' ideas.
ReplyDeleteMax,
DeleteI appreciate how you began by explaining how parents’ behavior and other environmental factors strongly influence their children’s behavior. I think that this idea is often overlooked while examining aggression in children. Aggressive children are often written off as “bad” without ever exploring the possible underlying factors that are contributing to their behavior. I think that modeling is an interesting approach for parents who tend to have hostile conflicts at home. Explaining the concept to the parents might be a helpful way for them to understand that their behavior is directly contributing to their children’s behavior, especially aggressive behavior. I also always value when social workers “start where the people are” when addressing clients’ concerns. I think it is extremely valuable to allow clients to approach a situation in a way that they feel most comfortable with. Otherwise, I think the parents would be reluctant to any change at all. I agree that it would be most useful to allow the parents to integrate the advice into the education of their children.
I would like to tell my own point of view, that current generation is growing up in competitive society, for example, since childhood they are learnt to compete to each other - with siblings - ‘look your brother, so nice he clean this room’ ‘look, your sister, so well she is studying’ and etc, and following Ensor et. al. (2011) competitive behavior increases anger. So we are growing up and competing to each other for adults attention. Too add more, children are made to compete in schools - who in the class will get first place in essay or math competition, instead of adults to pay more attention to child’s self confidence, change and focus on growing up a human, a person with values, knowledge is important but children also have to understand how to take part in society. And, the third important view - that children are taught to compete, but never taught to lose, and that's the way aggression shows up. We are taught to be a winner in competition, but lost might teach something too. But, in my personal opinion, our society lost keeps as something vulnerable, something not acceptable. So child starts to fight, to bully, to swear as trying to hide his or her low self-esteem caused by lost in competition, as V. Oaklander (2005) said, that aggression is related with child’s self-esteem . I would like to use strengths perspective in this situation, that no matter consequences, the processes was the most important, what it have taught, what was learnt during the processes.
ReplyDeleteAs being school social worker I would start by visiting child during class and breaktime to see his/her behavior by myself, without having any preconception, to see child's interest, what and how he/she plays games with other children and if there would be any possibility I would try to have individual consultation with child, to understand reason of his/her behavior of child’s own point of view. It is important to meet parents as well, to understand situation at home, how do they react to child's emotion, is child allowed to express himself/herself or he/she has to control emotions, how do they try to motivate child to study or do other activities. Also would like to understand parents behavior at home - how parents deal with their feelings - showing that their are mad or happy, tired, upset. This would let me understand how child’s behavior is built - I would follow behaviorism theory. Further, I would like to know, what exactly parents are worrying about, and how do they think child learnt this behavior, and what methods they you to change this child behavior. Finally I would try to make discussion with whole family to see their interactions to each other - to see family as a whole system (ecological system theory).
As working with parents I would think in behavioristic model and family-based approach - because, all child's behaviors come from the family and it is related with children mental health (Olin et. al., 2010), for example, child his/her maladaptive behavior adapt from example, which is in the family. So I would try to offer parents to start to work with themselves - to use positive and strength perspectives, to cherish child for good things, instead of screaming try to discuss what's happened and why child acted like this. By changing parents behavior, child’s behavior would change too, o as global social worker I would like to use example, which is mentioned in Online et al. (2010) article, which offers parents to participate in parental groups, to empower parents as agencies of changes (Olin et al., 2010). I would try to show parents, that they are able to change the situation, just need to be patient, because it is long and slow work period. Also I would like to discuss interaction between parents and child - what activities they do together, how much time they spend together, how close they are to each other - aggressive behavior might be caused by feeling not enough attention of parents.
Gintare,
DeleteI also find the same thing about nowadays generation where all tend to be more competitive, have more, all the time compare with others. And yes, I agree with you that when it comes to competitiveness it sometimes ends in aggression. Especially, when we talk about children, it can come to the point of fight or other way aggression if they do not achieve their goals. Even parents, probably not understanding that, push the child to it. Accordingly, when the child does not get what he or she want they become aggressive. And then the parent seeks for the help of the social worker..
Good job!
First of all I would say that parents should teach their child that he or she is equal to every other child. Achivements are not the most important thing in life, if you only praise your child when he wins. That brings out the competition and the feeling of being better than everybody else and eventually agressiveness, which leads to violence they feel. It has not been proven that competition brings out only violence and agression but it has been proven by scholars that societies that interact with eachother in cooperative way act better and more peacefully. It is possible to have a peaceful, yet competitive society if all of the other circumstances, beliefs, and attitudes of the society focus on nonviolence. Parents should indulge in creating a cooperative environments for their children, which are better than competitive or individualistic ones in favor of communication skills, ability to resolve conflicts, and social and cognitive developments.
ReplyDeleteb.Then, drawing from what you have learned from Healey and the readings, describe the process you would engage in with the parents so they felt empowered and interested in what you have to say.
I would like to invite their child on a meeting and discuss together with them. Of course I would adjust previous statements to explain so that children would understand me. I think cooperating with child and also with their parents would make a bigger impact on all of them. I also think it would be interesting to hear what they would say to each other, how would they react and present their views, for example on a question related to communication skills. I would ask a child to describe communication skills of their parents and then I would ask parents to answer on the same question. In my opinion children can understand grown ups, but they have a different imagination about things. I find this way of engaging both parents and children quite empowering and I also think, I would attract their attention.
Katja, I think you have done a great job of recognizing the research that shows that competitive environments promote more violence than cooperative environments. I think this understanding would be useful when discussing child rearing approaches with parents. I do wonder how you would approach talking to parents who value competition more, and instill this value within their children? Though, we may have done the research to understand that cooperative environments are more helpful for children, what approaches would you use to help the parents understand this? Since you are the professional and they are unlikely to do the kind of research that we have done as Social Workers, I think it is important to come up with a strong and detailed plan of how to help them see from this perspective.
Deletea. For many of these societies, the central, defining elements in their beliefs are strong opposition to competition and support for cooperation. Cooperation is more dominant in peaceful societies, but a cognitive understanding of the importance of nonviolence is not always enough in these societies to work good. In the article Cooperation and Competition in Peaceful Societies, there were presented two studies based on the games that people play. One study demonstrates that people who played a game competitively were much more aggressive in their approach to the game than those who were instructed to play it cooperatively. In another study, children displayed more aggressive behavior and less cooperative behavior when they played competitive games. So we could say that cooperative games should be introduced in preschool settings to promote prosocial behavior patterns, and I would also recommend those kinds of games to parents to play with their child. I would also say to parents that they should try to teach their child, that he/she is equal to others. Parents are giving endless attention to the child until he/she is 2-3 years old, but after that I would recommend them to demote them from that special status. Achievements are of course good, but parents should not praise only their child’s achievements, because that could lead the child into a competition and feeling better than the rest and possibly even violence. Of course is not necessary that competition leads to violence, but it is known that societies that interact in cooperative way are more peaceful and working better, than the competitive ones. Children living in cooperative way quickly learn the importance of love, closeness, and dependence on others. (Bonta, 1997).Children also built self-image by the way the adults treat one another and imitate their behavior, so it is also very important for parents to treat each other well, and behave well, otherwise how can they expect that from their child?
ReplyDeleteb. First I would talk with parents, but then I would also invite a child, so we would look at the situation altogether. I think adults often make decisions for their children without them even knowing and being a part of it. In that case is normal for child to feel excluded and angry. So I would try to talk with all of them and try to find with them a solution that would be good for the whole family. Also it would be important for me, as a social worker to see what communication, body language, they have, how they understand themselves, their roles and how they understand others.
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ReplyDeleteIn the situation like this, firstly should be considered which kind of society and country the parents and the child live in, because different types of societies will require different approaches.
ReplyDeleteIf I bring an example of my home country Armenia, my approach in consulting the parents would differ from the same here in Lithuania. Armenia has more competitive and cooperative society, more into the community and accordingly the child is growing up reflecting all the rules he/she sees. Whilst Lithuania has more individualistic and competitive society and again child is growing up accordingly.
In the article by Bonta(1997) the cooperative societies were seen as peaceful ones in the same time competitive as promoting aggression.
Some psychological research suggests that competition promotes aggression. Almost all of the peaceful societies would agree and would link aggression to violence, but the literature on the peaceful societies goes farther by providing details on the psychological structures that control competition and nurture cooperation.
Personally, I would not say that the cooperative society is better than others. Because in that case children lack individualism and highly depend on other members of the society. As in this example:
The Hutterites raise their children to be loved and enjoyed, but, even as an infant, the child is expected to adapt to the work schedule of the colony. Children quickly learn to be happy with the group, the unchanging pattern of colony life, and that individuals have little control over their environment. Because the colony is more important than the individual and older people are more important than younger ones, the child learns to accept a very low status in the colony. Children 3 years old can no longer scream lustily; they must be quiet around adults and even have to cry quietly. They are readily dismissed from activities when adults or older children do not want them around (Hostetler & Huntington, 1967)
I think this case affects the child and even can bring to negative impacts in the future.
When consulting the parents, I will explain about the society ways and what is needed for the child. As I believe the mixture of all these ways (cooperative, competitive, individualistic) can bring to balance and lower the violence. For example, at school child should respect other classmates, try to cooperate with them, while doing homework be more individual and during sport or art contest try to be competitive to reach his or her goals.
Also, while consulting the parents, it is important to know the details about child and how exactly he/she behaves. In the case of aggression, for example, it is required to know the situation after which the child started to behave like that. Aggression is generally defined as behavior enacted with the intent to hurt or harm others. (Crick et al., 1997; McNeilly-Choque et al., 1996). The reason for the aggression could be family situation and child-parent relationship. I would use self-determination while working with the parents as well as the child, which, I think can be of great help for both of them.
Lastly, I will encourage the parents to communicate more with the child. Try to understand, not to judge and most importantly not to be aggressive, as an aggression will create a new aggression. In order to provide the well-being of a child I would suggest to spend more time together and be more attentive.
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ReplyDeleteFrom an early age in childhood, the child is taught to compete between his peers and it never stops, just increases with age. This phenomenon you can see in families, in the private and middle school, university, job, and etc. Of course, there is some cooperation in all this institution or places, but it is used minimally, for example, teamwork in a group. From the Bonta (1997) article you can see that cooperation in social life represents positive impact to the child and competition in education affect to the child like violence. It happents that parents starts to neglect their children when he/she is 2-3 years old and stop giving all them attention fro them.
ReplyDeleteI, as a social worker, I would like to try to stop/to prevent children from violence in preschool. First of all, I have to make clear what kind of violence there is at school. Acording Karmaza (2007) violence at school may be free types: physical, sexual, emotional violence. Who is a victim and who is an abuser. What is going on, when it happens, why it happening and etc. Then it is really important to involve this prevention, not just for kids, bus also for children‘s parents because they are the leaders looking through children‘s eyes. Research on the developmental dynamics of aggression has suggested that comprehensive contextual and individually oriented approaches can be put into place that is not aimed at the risk of violence by particular youth per se but instead centers on promoting their overall adjustment (Farmer, 2007, 200p).“ It means that working with kids, you don‘t need to use specific methods against violence, especially when we are talking about preschool children.
My job is to talk with parents, to explain, why it is important, how it works, what kind of topics to touch and what is our goal. I think it is important because if the parents will talk about this with their child about violence and show a good attitude at home, it is a big possibility that violence may stop. Also to create a meeting for parents after a talk with their kids, to talk about how it goes, what kind of challenges they experience and how can I help them. And in the end, to make a meeting also, for discussion and to make conclusions. Furthermore, I would create play therapy groups for children that they could to meet together, get know more about each other, start to work as a group and solve some small problems together. All in general, both sides would get some help and support for each other. The most important thing, that the attitude of kids about violence should start to change.
Indre I want to tell you that I really like your answer and I agree with everything that you told. We live in a society where they teach us how to compete with each other from the day we are born. I think we truly need more cooperation everywhere – in families, schools but also in communities. I would like to add just one type of violence that is more and more present in schools (at least in Slovenia) and this is network violence. We need to be very careful about it because it can cause terrifying damage especially to teenagers. I also love the idea about play therapy groups because I think this is very interesting way to teach children something new and it`s very helpful. I really liked your thinking and I think that you know very good how to help people, especially children.
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ReplyDeleteFirst thing I would notice is that parents care about their children if they want to learn and if they want changes. If they show their interest and if they want to help their child for me this is a very good start for improvement.
ReplyDeleteTo counsel parents about prevention of their children violent behaviour we must understand violence and why children become violent. Very interesting research about children aggressive behaviour was done in Russia. Results showed that maternal and paternal pressure, lack of responsiveness, and psychological control (for mothers only) were significantly correlated with children's overt aggression with peers. Less responsiveness (for mothers and fathers) and maternal coercion positively correlated with relational aggression (Hart & Nelson & Robinson & Roper & McNeilly-Choque, 1998).
To child aggression definitely impact also the parenting style parents choose to use. In the article Cooperation and Competition in Peaceful Societies they explain three different concepts which also parents use to raise their children. Competition, cooperation and individualism. In competition people attain their goals only if other participants do not. In cooperation people attain their goals only when other participants do also. In individualism people attain their goals without affecting the goal attainment of others (Bonta, 1997). Choice of one or another concept of course has different impact to children, but my opinion is that parents should always combine all three of them and this way prevent the unwanted extremes.
As I already mentioned at the beginning, first thing I see positive in this case is that parents are interested in changes. This show us that they want to be good parents and they want best for their children – and this would be the first thing I would say to them. Than I would explain them that also if we want just the best for our children sometimes we make mistakes and it`s normal. I would tell them about different types of raising a child and what this mean. After the talk with parents I would invite children, because I can’t imagine solving a problem without involving a child.
Last two years I was working my practice in primary school and I can say that good results always come when we cooperate with whole family together. When it comes to violence we must always found out the reason – because child is never aggressive without a reason. Maybe this are problems at home, maybe he doesn’t know how to attract our attention other way, maybe he has some problems with friends or maybe he was learned to be violent from home. We can solve violence just by cooperating with the whole family and by working on the original problem that caused aggressive behaviour in a child.
In conversation I would use Solution-focused brief therapy which is approach of two social workers Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg. I think their concepts are very good and helpful and I use it a lot when I work with children or whole families. To attract attention of the family I would probably use the miracle question, different type of scaling questions or maybe also exception-seeking question to find something good and positive and to show them that different approach is possible.
REFERENCE LIST:
Bonta, B. D. (1997). Cooperation and competition in peaceful societies. Psychological Bulletin, 121(2), 299-320.
Hart, Craig & Nelson, David & Robinson, Clyde & Roper, Susanne & McNeilly-Choque, Mary-Kay. (1998). Overt and Relational Aggression in Russian Nursery-School-Age Children: Parenting Style and Marital Linkages. Developmental Psychology.
According what we have learned from the article "Cooperation and Competition in Peaceful Societies" i would like to say that the question of competition vs. cooperation has many sides. It is important that you consider all of the possible outcomes of competition before you put your child in a competitive situation. If he or she has not reached the level of maturity or skill that is required to handle a specific competitive situation, it may be best to find a team where the focus is not on winning but on personal growth and development. Almost all of the societies are committed to raising their children without competition; as part of this, they seek to instill in the children a sense of their place within the community. This helps the children to internalize the society's social values that oppose competition and promote cooperation (Bruce D. Bonta, 1997).
ReplyDeleteI would like to mention the important of the creation of a social worker at school, in the neighborhood, contributes to the humanization of human relations, the overcoming of delusiveness of child, the alleviation of the psychological climate at school, the establishment of better links between family and school, and the solution of child socialization. School communities should have the school psychologist and his role is very important in the community. It is unfortunate that crime and violence have extended to the schools. The school psychologist is always part of the school crisis team that is ready to provide counseling and emotional support to children touched by tragedies, including other catastrophic events that may affect students directly or indirectly. School psychologists help create safe schools and positive environments conducive to learning.
If i was asked to consult with parents at a preschool, i will do that by the principles: all parents have knowledge, skills and resources that support their children’s in school and parents have a strong complementary role to play in their children’s learning and behavior. Parent participation is very important to student achievement and school success. Effective partnerships between schools and families foster student learning and contribute to the general climate and development of schools. School counselor leadership is a key factor in implementing parent empowerment successfully in schools. In the process of counseling with parents is important: helping parents share the frustration, confusion, and alienation that they often encounter in schools; facilitating parents working together in a cohesive and productive manner to develop strategies for advocating for their children; helping their children to access valuable school and community resources and information and to become decision makers in schools and communities; systemic collaboration, resourceful problem-solving, and professional efficacy; connecting parents to active parents in organizing groups who can serve as mentors and coaches.
To ensure child welfare, prevent children's engagement in violence and instead be productive and self-assertive, all systems must to communicate to each other and work together. So it is like ecological system‘s theory (Bronfenbrenner, 1979), when you change one system‘s part, it could change whole system. Children have right to be healthy and safe, this is a way to right child‘s development.
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ReplyDeleteWorking with children and families is one of the most challenging, skilled, but ultimately rewarding, areas of social work practice. In my opinion, social workers need to be able to work with a diverse group of children and their families: from babies to teenagers, single parents to two-parent families and multi-carer families and etc. To look at the family from the inside out, to understand its dynamics as a whole, and to offer practical help and support – but also to be the person to authoritatively challenge that family to change. I working social work with families, and know this is not easy. In my practice, the reasons for aggressive behavior may vary depending upon the age of the child and may be any or a combination of the following: self-defense, reaction to stressful situations, lack of routine, frustration, anger, absence of verbal skills, exhaustion or imitation of aggressive behavior. Family's responsibility is to teach children self-control and appropriate ways to handle anger. The ways how to teach self-control and some suggestions from my practice:
ReplyDelete1. Set firm and consistent limits. Make sure the child knows boundaries and that hitting; kicking, biting, and other forms of aggressive behavior are not allowed.
2. Help the child to identify emotions and to discuss what he or she is feeling.
3. Model peaceful conflict resolution in your home and encourage your child to use his words rather than aggression. State the rules in positive terms, demonstrating if necessary: “use gentle hands”, as opposed to “stop hitting!”
4. Help the child to develop go-to strategies for self-control, e.g., walking away, taking deep breaths, counting to ten, or engaging in a quiet activity to calm down. Model self-control in stressful, frustrating situations. Lowering your voice, rather than yelling can help to diffuse anger and calm emotions.
5. Be aware that any form of physical discipline may reinforce aggressive behavior in your child who may conclude that if adults can spank, hitting is ok. Avoid your child’s exposure to violence in television and video games.
Also, the first step should understand the underlying reasons why the child is choosing to act out this way. The more you understand what’s happening, the better you’ll be able to help them find other, non-aggressive ways to solve their problems. According to the article” Aggressive child behavior part II: 7 tools to stop fighting in school and at home”, very important to use active listening methods for parents. For example, when you say, “The school called me today about a fight. Can you tell me what happened?” your child may tell you something, or he may not. If he decides to talk, let him tell you as much as he can. Always use statements such as, “Uh huh.”“Tell me more.” “I see.” and “What happened next?” Those are active listening methods that get kids to talk more and be comfortable. Don’t forget, our goal is not to intimidate or punish. Our goal is to investigate and learn information. Another example, lower your voice-don’t raise it. As parents, they need to show self-control and use gentle words if we want our kids to do the same. It’s easy to respond with yelling or anger, but remember, your child is looking to you for cues on how to control his impulses and have good behavior. Also there are practice ways to defuse child’s anger. You can say, “Sometimes I get angry too. When that happens, I say ‘I’m angry’ and I leave the room.” All of these methods help take the immediate focus off of your child’s anger and teach them to recognize this important emotion. Of course, teach kids that aggression is wrong. It’s also important to talk to your children about aggression during a calm moment. In a steady voice, explain to your child that hitting, biting, kicking, and other aggressive behaviors are wrong.
You have a very good recommendations, especially I'm like advices about self-control. It's really important. Sometimes because of absense of ways of conflict resolution parents and children give away, family's split here. Mustn't admit it. There are harmony and understanding should be in family. Parents and also children shouldn't feel and show agression. This definition shouldn't be in family and society general.
DeleteNecessary a good conversation and support from close people is as present which should not be a pity to give.
I think you are right in every sentances and advices. Care about children is the main obligation of parents and, of course, present for them.
Thank you for your opinion, I appreciate it!
DeleteEach and every parent has their own way of bringing up their children. Some might even train their children in the competitive society and might end up well, others might train their children in the competitive society and it will end in a bad way. Others might train them in the cooperative society and it might end well and others might train them in cooperative society and it will end badly. Also, some parents might adopt both methods and it can end well or bad. So in my opinion, some parents make some mistakes which cannot be corrected. Parents always wants the best for their children but sometimes, the best turns out to be bad because, parents like comparing their children with other children without knowing that individual differences and every child is unique in his or her way. Because parent’s friends children are doctors, nurses, lawyers etc., they’ll also wish for their children to be same forgetting that, they are all different people in different ways. Instead of parents nurturing their children in their own way, they will rather make their children compete with other children, some will even say why is it that this child is doing this or that better than you and you can’t do it. Parents scold their children because of other children and some even beat up their children for not competing with other children, in my opinion, I think parents should stop this competitive way of training their children because it makes them turn a bad leaf which brings pressure to even the parents. Children must be allowed to explore in their own ways to be what they want to be but just that parents are to guide them in their ways. Children must cooperate with other children in their societies but not to compete with them so parents must always train their children in a way which will help the children and even them as parents. In this scenario, I will tell or ask the parents to train the child in a way which will help the child and even them. They should avoid competition amongst their children and other children because it leads to violence between the children. Children becomes aggressive and violent due to this competition among them and their colleagues which is very bad and besides, every child is unique in his or her own way so they should be guided on what to do but not to tell them what to do and to compete with others.
ReplyDeleteHealey indicated that global social work has four key dimensions. These dimensions by Healey will be very useful in talking with the parents of the child. When children are brought up in competitive societies, majority of them become violent because they have been taught that no one should do better than them, so if the child goes outside from home and someone tries to compete with him or her, then the child becomes aggressive and angry as to why this person is doing better than me. I remember a child who used to be the most brilliant child in his class and one day, they got another student from a different school where the new child was more brilliant than the other child, so when the results of their exam came, the new child got higher marks than the other child and he became angry that someone has gotten higher marks than him so he decided to harm the new child so that he won’t come and compete with him again. He surely harmed the new child and he was hospitalized and this child was suspended from the school. This tell us that, when children are brought up in the competitive society, they turn out to be violent and rascals because they want to please their parents always which is very bad.
ReplyDeleteThat is a really good example! I also think that in competitive societies it promote or produces great feelings of unworthiness, self-esteem isses and self doubt. There is always someone better than you. If we only value the number 1 spot at the top, what does that mean for everyone else? Everyone can not be the best, therefore we see a cycle of damaged self esteem, comparison, bitterness, anxiety, etc. What if another child, at that school decided that they wanted to be the most brillant? So they beat up the child who was at the top and the cycle continues.
DeleteFirst and foremost, what must be considered, is the country that is seeking help and the culture around childrearing within this country. A process for administering advice on any social aspect must carefully consider the cultural factors that might interfere with the advice being given. Once I have researched and come to understand more wholly the country in which I wish to help with advice about child rearing and receiving care outside of the home (in daycares or schools), then I can begin to formulate a plan for how to approach this community. The research about childrearing practices in this country will allow a wider understanding of the systems that already exist, such as whether this community tends to be more cooperative or competitive and why that may be the case. In addition, determining the strengths of that community’s approach to child rearing and helping to develop those further, rather than to approach the preschool parents with the assumption that things are “going wrong”, will allow for a more open conversation than if these parents were to be approached in an authoritative way…more simply, using the strengths based perspective and resiliency theories (Zimmerman, 2013). This approach has similar characteristics to Healy’s discussion of capacity building of a client and can be used hand-in-hand with this idea when approaching this group of parents (Healey, 2008).
ReplyDeleteAs is stated by Segal when discussing child welfare programs and services, the US tends to believe that “the ideal environment for a young child is the home, increasingly parents choose to place their children in day-care facilities” (Segal, pg. 375, ) As a US worker, it is helpful to have a perspective on the general beliefs that have fueled my understanding of child rearing practices up until this point, and to recognize whether this belief can be applied generally to other cultures, or why this might clash with those cultures, and then to learn what approach might be best. Segal goes on to explore how the child welfare programs and services can best be applied once knowing that many, if not most, children will receive out of the home care at some point in their childhood. What is most notable is that developmental services of any kind for children must remember to consider the holistic needs of the child far beyond any academic curriculum requirements that might be a goal to meet since the children are relying on these services to shape their personalities, while also caring for the growth and changes that are happening during this malleable time in the child’s life.
Once I have a collection of research about the culture of the community I am approaching with advice on developing this preschool, and I have my basic understanding of how to meet the needs of children with proper developmental services, then I am prepared to enter the community and begin a discussion around this information. But the last component that can make me successful in helping guide the parents through understanding how to move forward with developing the preschool is that I have to be sure to ask the parents about what they value. This will require on the spot changes in how we move forward in the conversation, because we can’t know this answer ahead of time, but we can anticipate the answers based on our research. Because I am prepared through research of the community and through research on different approaches to building successful developmental strategies, I am likely to engage the parents in a symbiotic conversation about a difficult topic.
If we speak about children, we, first of all, speak about their parents and education from infancy. How people say:” that have you invested then you got”. Parents should bring up themselves child correctly and competently, spend a lot of your time, powers and nerves because a child needs in care and attention. If we want kind, smart, careful and able child, we should accustom him to kindness, decency, responsibility and study. Despite absence of necessary social, educational conditions a child can grow up developed and humane. All depends from “a base” that have invested by parents or close people. If parents teach to the correct way of life, talk about everything, give definitions “good” and “evil” and live with them (indirect sense), their child will grow by that they wanted. But if they are aggressive, have the reckless attitude towards the child, don’t spend time together, a child will become how people (children/teenagers) from him inner circle. It is similar with Theory of Differential Association (E. Saterland). This criminologist supposed that individuals can be socialized by a group of people who use deviant behavior and define it as absolutely adequate and normal. Parents should to be friends with themselves child from young age. They can control his behavior and also community because often children choose not right people for friendship. Also children should feel some discipline. Parents can even establish rules. It’s good thing although children can think that it’s not normal. This is essential! Good parents always take care and interested child’s life. But not need suppose that only rules help. The main is attention and just attendance in life. Parents should always remember they are the most important people for their child and they are needed him, especially in childhood.
ReplyDeleteConsequently, I want say that if people create the family they should devote themselves to her. And if you want to bring up a good child, you will should be relevant example. Everything comes from family.
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ReplyDeleteThe environment in which children grow up directly influences child development. According to Bonta (1997), children who grow up in cooperative environments develop differently than children who grow up in competitive environments. The author proposes that competitive environments produce more aggressive tendencies in children. Robison, Olsen, & McNeilly-Choque (1998) define aggression as “behavior enacted with the intent to hurt or harm others” and relational aggression as “behaviors that harm others through damage (or threat of damage) to relationships” (p. 687). Compared to competitive environments, cooperative environments produce higher levels of productivity and self-assertion in children. Bonta (1997) defines competition as “people attain their goals only if other participants do not” and cooperation as “people attain their goals only when other participants do also” (p. 300). The author outlines several reasons why cooperative environments foster higher levels of achievement, including higher levels of self-esteem and mental health compared to children in competitive environments. One of the major themes that arose in the cooperative societies that were studied was the idea that “no one is special, stands out, or is above anyone else” (Bonta, 1997, p. 302). Children learn to depend on other people, which promotes cooperation.
ReplyDeleteIn order to effectively engage with the parents, I would first ensure that they felt heard and appreciated. I would make a point to listen to how they view their parenting styles and their ideas for helping prevent their children’s engagement in violence. The parents are the ones who will ultimately be making decisions for their children. Their values and opinions are the most important component when it comes to their children’s lives. I would then discuss the idea of cooperation and competitive environments, explaining each concept in a way that they can best understand as it relates to their children. I would explain how research shows that competitive environments foster aggression in young children. In order to best explain this idea, I would use the example of competitive game playing that Bonta discusses in his article. According to Bonta (1997), people who play games competitively are more likely to be aggressive in their approach to winning than those who play cooperatively. Competitive players use “killing techniques” while playing games (Bonta, 1997, p. 305). After explaining cooperation and competition, I would explain how peaceful societies exercise cooperation among their residents, especially how dependency and communication between parents and their children is important. As I stated earlier, the parents are the ones who will ultimately decide how their children will be raised and what values will be instilled in their children. As a social worker, I would stress this fact to empower the parents to help their children lead productive and self-assertive lives.
Hannah,
DeleteYour response is so thorough and beneficial to the task at hand, I felt that you chose to address the presenting problem/issue in an incredibly sensitive and respectful way. I agree that in cases like this where parents and their children are seeking care, it can be easily misinterpreted by the clients that the worker is judging their parenting skills. Also, I found the competitive/cooperative environment explanation to be very intriguing. It’s a great concept for the worker and the family, as it prevents the use of social work jargon the family may not be familiar with. Plus, it creates an understanding tone within the interaction that would foster mutual understanding with the parents. I agree that ultimately the parenting choices made are up to the parents, although our jobs as social workers is to empower our clients, which you demonstrated very well in your response. Well done!
To begin, one of the points I would like to make in this consultation would be to address any cultural shift or barriers that have happened to create this deprivation of up-to-date social work, psychological, and educational concepts. For example, Hart et. al.’s (1998) article explains the Russian government’s alternative view of rearing children that has permeated the subsequent education, psychology, and social work of children. Hart et. al. (1998) contend that “the government did not consider the family to be primarily responsible for the upbringing of children,” instead, “a collective-centered system of child rearing was developed, where families were considered to be an organic part of Soviet society” (p. 688). Cultural differences play a crucial role in the route of treatment and discussion with these parents, as their culture’s parenting practices will most likely differ from the Westernized parenting standards. Hart et. al. (1998) adds that for children, “punishment by the collective typically took the form of group sanctions, which included public criticism and the threat of exclusion from group membership” (p. 688). While this form of discipline is not prevalent in American society, it could be a factor in the rearing of these parents’ child, or some similar principle. In fact, Healy (2008) agrees that “workers should refrain from quick judgements or labeling of families until cultural practices are understood” (p. 295). Overall, exploring the parents’ cultural practices in regard to raising children will allow me as the worker to be respectful and sensitive to their traditions and culture while deciding treatment options.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, I would discuss the familial relationship in order to properly assess potential causes of the child’s aggression. This discussion could take the form of a family session, a parental session, or an individual session with the child, depending on the presenting problems. As noted by Hart et. al. (1998), “higher levels of maternal coercion and lack of paternal responsiveness are the two most important contributors to relational and overt aggression,” which could be reflected in the case at hand (p. 694). Rather than blame the parents for the behavior of their aggressive child, I would sensitively inquire about their family dynamic and their areas of concern. I would ask the child similar questions and tailor them to be age-appropriate, then compare responses of the parents’ and the child to map out any overlaps in concern, or possible conflicts in understanding.
Hart, Craig H.; Nelson, David A.; Robinson, Clyde C.; Olsen, Susanne Frost; McNeilly-Choque, Mary Kay (1998). Overt and Relational Aggression in Russian Nursery-School-Age Children: Parenting Style and Marital Linkages. Developmental Psychology, 34(4), 687–697.
Healy, L. (2008). International Social Work: Professional Action in an Interdependent World. New York: Oxford University Press.
Because all interventions are rooted in some value system, the types of interventions I choose to engage with the community would depend on the values of the society itself. In many societies, the most relationally rewarding development in children comes from positive experiences with other people (Perry 2010). If this society is one in which parents are concerned about their children participating in violence because their children have experienced or witnessed individual or community violence, I would draw on the research of Bruce Perry. Perry’s body of work suggests that the age at which children experience violence greatly impacts their brain development, and that interventions should be targeted at the specific area of the brain that has been insulted. Although the effects of violence can be detrimental to the self-regulation and relational capabilities of preschool aged children, which can lead to future violence, the interventions done at this age can be just as long-lasting. Buffering experiences for children include patterned, repetitive, predictable activities that promote positive relational interactions. Having secure relationships with adults and peers who are developmental respectful to them will help children grow in a way that encourages productivity and security. If I were a social worker in this community, I would support parents who are hoping to raise productive and self-assertive children by suggesting interventions that promote regulation and positive relationships.
ReplyDeleteHealy speaks to the importance of grappling with universalism and cultural relativism when practicing global social work (Healy pg 240). In order to have parents engage in an interested and empowered way, the social worker’s values must align with both the values of the profession and the values of the parents (and their larger culture). A global social worker cannot expect parents to have any interest in their interventions if they are not established from this shared set of values. I would collaborate with parents and other community leaders to develop interventions that resonate with their beliefs and feel realistic to implement in their society.
Yes I agree. Collaboration is important. Helps the parents feel as though they have a say in their child education experience. Society is harsh with our children. Demanding they grow up faster than they should cant make any noise and must sit quietly in school with no disruptions. It is good to know that working together will help parents feel involved.
DeleteBefore providing any kind of direct help or consultation to the parents, I would first want to learn about what kind of society this family is from—cooperative or competitive. Then I would try to understand what kind of parenting style is used in this family. Both of these pieces of information are essential to the help I would provide to this family.
ReplyDeleteChildren raised in a cooperative society—one where community, teamwork, and the group is emphasized—have greater ability to resolve conflicts, have more positive attitudes towards teachers and classmates, and have higher self-esteem and greater mental health than those raised in societies valuing competition (Bonta, 1997, p. 301). If this family comes from a cooperative society, I would turn to the work of Hart et. al., which examined overt and relational aggression and parenting styles (1998). According to this study, children with parents who use a responsive parenting style (parent who are warm, responsive, and attentive) are “more socially competent and less aggressive with peers” (Hart et. al., 1998, p. 689). Conversely, parents with a coercive or psychologically controlling parenting style, are linked to overt aggression in their children (Hart et. al., 1998, p. 689).
After understanding what kind of culture and society this family is from, I would give advice on how to implement a different parenting style into the routine that has already been built. I think a large part in keeping the parents empowered and engaged is making sure that they do not feel judged in the way that they are raising their children. Becoming parents is a huge responsibility and different people handle it in different ways, that does not mean they are wrong. Rather than telling the parents that they need to entirely change the way they are raising their children, I would substitute or add approaches specifically from the responsive parenting style to (1) not overwhelm them with an absurd amount of changes to their family dynamic and (2) to avoid them feeling ashamed or to blame for something they were not educated on in the first place. I think it is especially important in this situation to be sensitive with the approach of introducing new techniques of parenting because of the lack of education these parents have come in with. This way the family will make progress at a rate that is beneficial but not overpowering which can sometimes be discouraging.
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ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteAgression is typical to everybody – it is an instinctive form of behavior with aim of defense.
So one of my methods of working with this family will be for first meeting invite parents and the child. This could help to me, because I could see how problem see parents and the child himself. Also I could see how families members comunicate to each others.
There are 3 main sources:
1. Angst and distrust to environment which seems formidable, so that parents may notice, that in unfamiliar surrounding a child can hit another child even if he had never done it before. This sense of distrust usually is inherited from parents who see the world around as unsafe and dangerous (you can’t trust anyone; everybody minds only his own business; don’t take, don’t climb you will fall down, hurt yourself and etc.). So the child thinks that the world is unsafe and that he must be careful and
defends himself, even better – attacks first. Such aggression between children is mostly unexpected and without obvious reason.
2. Prohibition and other orders which are against the child’s wishes and interests at the moment. It is clear that parents shouldn’t let their child have or do everything he wants, there should be limits. It would be good to explain the child the reason of the prohibition and the punishment before aggression appears, to teach the child to accept responsibility of his actions. Even after being punished the child should feel his parents unconditional love and dissatisfaction of his bad behavior.
3. Wish to get more independance and self – reliance. After birth the child is fully depended on his parents and in time flow tries to gain independence and become self – sufficient. Mostly this process is hurtful for both sides – especially during psychologically sensitive periods: at age of 3, during nursery shove and at teenage. Children become angry, aggressive, do not want to listen and runaround. This is a sign to parents, that it is high time to the child to enlarge his limits.
In order to help children and stop their violence in kindergarden parents should be involved and follow his advice:
• Parents love should be objective without manipulations such as “If you misbehave I won’t love you anymore… ”. Only behavior can be criticized not the personality of the child. Don’t say “You make me nervous”, better say “I feel nervous, being interrupted…”
• Try to be more positive yourself. Don’t get cross with other people if they disbehave against your wish, but try to understand reasons of such behavior. Analyze such situations aloud. For example: “I was bawled out by my collegue at work.” It was unpleasant to hear. I was angry at first. Then I thought about the reason of such behavior. May be he got crossed with his wife at home? He could have been unsuccessful or so? The child will be listening and learning to understand everything.
• The child must not be insulted and his opinion lessened. His thoughts should be listened to, then parent’s opinion expressed and conclusions made together.
• If the child requires attention and you are busy. Like so, you are angry with yourself because you are over head with your tasks, but not with your kid who wants your love… You must explain patiently that you can’t spend time now but later you will be free for him… You should keep your word – pay attention when being free.
• Critically observe yourself and your siblings – if everybody controls their aggression? Children usually try to copy your behavior.. Starting from age of 4, children fully understand everything and are able to keep to rules.
• Teach your child to name his feelings, asking if he is angry, worried and etc. Let your child reorganize feelings and describe them.
Good example of bad upbringing is post-soviet upbringing system. At that time children were not allowed to express their opinion. Parents were busy at work and having no time to their children. Kids mostly were grown by grandparents, not parents themselves. Children were punished for bad behavior, but nobody talked
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe very first thing that can be taken into account while dealing with such parents who are in need of proper guidance in nurturing their child to be productive and creative can be to get focused on the parenting style they are opting for their child. The concept of positive parenting will be the best guide for such parents. If we look in details to this concept of positive parenting, Keyes and Haidt classification of the four hallmark behavior that is important for a man to help in flourishing can be taken into consideration. According to them, being resilient, being able to engage and relate to others, finding the fulfillment through being productive and creative in all aspects of life and being able to look past ourselves to help others to flourish are the best of all behavior that can let a man to get flourished in his life. These aspects are the contribution of the positive psychology and is directly linked to the positive parenting. As per a study conducted by Diana Baumrind’s established parenting style explains that the parenting style adopted has the major role to play with behavior of the child. The parents should acknowledge the child’s uniqueness and should be responsive enough to pay the attention and the warmth support and the deserving respect to the children. Then the parental demandingness plays the next important role. How the parents demands and claims to the child to make him functional according to their vision and expectation has larger impact on the behavior of the child. The parents intent to follow the style that they had experienced in their childhood but if it is not a healthy practice then they will need to re-work on it to help their child be flourished and self-assertive and not being into any type of violence.
ReplyDeleteBeing in practice to such cases, social worker can intervene into the parenting style as well as the behavioral intervention to the parents considering the social learning theory, using which it can be emphasized and made clear to the parents that the children are used to following and learning the behaviors from their parents and their foremost role model happens to be their parents. The child learn his/her foundational behavior from the parents and it is equally important to the parents to be in a way they expect their child to be. Desirable behaviors can be explained to them with quoted examples of how effective it will be in the real life where they can actually nurture their child in the way they wish to, by being the greatest examples of those desirable behavior in front of them.
The points I would make to the parents would be what research suggest that aggression and or violent behaviors in school will be associated with parenting styles and how mom and dad interact with one another in the home (Craig Hart et.al. 1998). I would advice for positive outcomes balance is key. Allow for the child to grow in a positive environment fostering loving parents for them to look up to. Not to strict but also set proper boundaries will help lend to the success of children. What is equally as important as the parent-child relationship is how mom and dad or the marital couple are with one another. WHat does the child grow up seeing? Does the child see parents arguing? What is the dynamic of the household. As children grow adolescent disruptive behaviors is directly linked to family dynamics according to families system approach in psychotherapy. Is Dad in home? Is Dad away at work often?
ReplyDeleteLastly in order to engage and empower the parents is putting them on equal playing fields. What becomes important is allowing for the parent feel as though they have are the ones with the power to implement change in their children's lives. I would help the parents understand they are the first teachers the children will have influence. Questions like show me what works best for your child. Now the parents are doing the teaching. Talk with the parents not at them can help. Allow them to be included on all decision making to continue to help them feel we are all on the same team.
The parents must first understand that we are a product of our environment. Regardless of which society they live in certain values are instilled in them since birth because our structures and systems reflect a competitive or cooperative society. Trying to change those values would be difficult but not impossible as long as they have patience and rebuild their children's mindset. Everything that we do, especially in children, is learned. I would also have to look at the family structure and parenting style. Children reflect what they see, therefore if the parents are cooperating, productive, self-assertive and non-violent, most likely their kids will have those traits as well. The parents have to demonstrate the characteristics they want to see in their children. There are other outside influences, but if the family structure is strong and healthy, then those outside forces will not have a big impact on the child. Changing mindsets is easier said then done, especially if you live in a society that is opposite of what you are trying to teach your children.
ReplyDeleteIn the article, Cooperation, and competition in peaceful societies (1997) Bonta Bruce said that societies that oppose competition are usually highly cooperative and cooperative societies usually have a base for a peaceful society. Sometimes competition can bring people together, like in sports. Competition can be beneficial, aggression and violence are necessary to some extent and inevitable. I would also tell the parents to eat the meat and spit out the bones when it comes to competition. Teach your kids the positive aspects of competition and how to cope and channel their feelings in positive constructive ways that don't emphasize them and their individual achievement. Its good to know who you are and what you're good at, the trick is to stay humble and not put others down while trying to elevate yourself.
Parenting is an extremely personal experience and is deeply rooted in parental cultural norms and values. Every parent will have different views on how to raise their children. With this being said, it is most important for a social worker working with parents of preschooler in a country deprived of up-to-date psychosocial concepts to be extremely cautious and aware of the cultural values and norms that the parents hold themselves, rather than imparting what the social worker thinks parenting should be. This means asking them their definitions of discipline, cooperation, respect, obedience, etc. This will produce a non-judgemental and cooperative understanding so that the parents of these children do not feel judged, wrong, or belittled for how they are parenting their children.
ReplyDeleteI would go over the underlying rules of meeting with me and talk with the parents about their ideas of parenting, how they are feeling about talking with me, and what they would like to accomplish/learn. Taking this time helps the parents become comfortable talking openly about their thoughts on the matter. Presenting them with ideas on how they can help prevent their children’s engagement in violence and instead be self-assertive and productive, I would address global research.
The major theme of Bonta’s article focused on how to raise children in a peaceful environment. Bonta suggests that children raised in peaceful, cooperative environments experience many benefits, such as: learning more effectively, being more motivated, communicating efficiently, having positive attitudes towards others, and more positive mental health and self-esteem levels. This is often learned from the parents modeling of cooperation. A major component that can affect how parents raise their children relates to the ways in which they themselves were parented. A child adopts the values and culture of the surrounding society and a family unit is arguably the most influential element of this surrounding environment. If the goal is to raise a child who is compassionate and cooperative, a parent(s) must display the very characteristics that they are seeking to instill in their child. Parental interaction with their child is very important in child development. Engaging and responding to a child’s needs positively and unconditionally communicates that they are worthy of being supported and loved, and thus do not need to act out to get what they want. I would share with these parents that a mixture of competition, cooperation and individualistic values can provide a child with well-rounded experiences and a variety of perspectives.
Bonta, B. D. (1997). Cooperation and competition in peaceful societies. Psychological Bulletin, 121(2), 299-320.
Hart, Craig & Nelson, David & Robinson, Clyde & Roper, Susanne & McNeilly-Choque, Mary-Kay. (1998). Overt and Relational Aggression in Russian Nursery-School-Age Children: Parenting Style and Marital Linkages. Developmental Psychology.
When I think about this scenario, what first comes to mind is the way that I would come into this situation as a guest and an outsider, and the ways in which I want to consider the parents’ and child's wants and needs. This country, community, school, and family would not be my own, and because I would be entering these systems as a guest, I would want to become as well versed in their school/community/family culture as possible before offering my own considerations. I would hope to work with and learn from social workers in that country or community. I would want to ask lots of questions regarding the culture of the community. What are the expectations for this child within the community and the family? How are these expectations formed in regards to gender? How are these informed by religion and culture? Is the community more competitive or cooperative? Individualistic or collective? It is essential to have these questions answered in order to provide relevant advice that will be welcomed.
ReplyDeleteAnother crucial concept to keep in mind is Cultural Relativism. Healey describes some of the harms and pitfalls that can come with a lack of attention that is paid to Cultural Relativism, or practices that may be “considered ethical in one country or cultural setting may be unethical in others” (p. 245). It is important to distinguish what are simply “cultural differences” versus a cultural difference that inflicts harm and strays from a more universal understanding of human dignity. Certain practices, for example, shouldn’t be allowed as acceptable punishment for children, for example, just because they are culturally normalized. I would want to make sure that the child was being redirected in ways that were respectful and productive.
In order for the parents to be engaged and feel empowered and interested, I would need to present suggestions that were culturally relevant and aligned with their value system.
First and foremost, the parents and child would be integral in creating the plan. I believe in using different types of motivational interviewing practices, but most importantly keeping the family abreast in the entire process so that they are willing to engage in a practice that they were a part of creating. I would want to identify the parents’ goals for the child and strategize ways to achieve them. I am a huge proponent of using the arts as a platform for learning. Especially with children, I think that the arts can be incorporated in learning, play, and even in therapeutic practices like CBT.
I too would consult the teacher and ask what resources or time they had available so that the goals and classroom plan was realistic and achievable. As Bonta (1997) describes in “Cooperation and competition in peaceful societies,” children will emulate the behaviors with which they are presented. Setting an example for a peaceful and nonviolent classroom and household will affect the way that the child reacts to their own emotions. If teachers and parents raise children with values that align more closely with the values of a competitive society, aggressive behaviors will be reproduced in the children (Bonta, 1997). Physical punishment and other examples of behaviors like aggression, control, violence, dominance and competition, encourage children to produce age appropriate aggression like temper tantrums. A shift towards collaborative and cooperative play, learning, and most importantly cooperative discipline for children, will foster an environment of peace and nonviolence. This can be a big shift in some communities and requires a lot of relearning cultural practices, but a shift in the culture of the school will have an enormous effect of each child’s behavior and psychological wellbeing.
Bonta, Bruce. (1997). Cooperation and competition in peaceful societies. Psychological
Bulletin, 121, 299-320.
Healey, Lynn M. (2008). International Social Work: Professional Action in an Interdependent
World. 3rd edition. Oxford: Oxford University Press.