3. Imagine you have the opportunity to work with groups of parents seeking insights from the most up-to-date social science knowledge about raising children who are compassionate and cooperative. Use insights from the readings from our class to describe what you would tell them.
I would tell that that according to Johnson and Johnson (1979) students master, retain, and transfer principles and concepts more effectively when they learn in a cooperative environment. I would also let them know that cooperation promotes more, and better learning than does competition. Moreover, I would inform that that children have more intrinsic motivation to learn in a cooperative environment (Bonta, 1997) so raising them to be cooperative is more beneficial to them. Additionally, children who are raised to be cooperative are better at resolving conflicts, have better communication skills, and better cognitive and and social developments than those raised in individualistic or competitive environments. Moreover, Bonta states that mental health and self esteem are more positive among those in cooperative learning environments. Research shows that if parents want their children to be compassionate and cooperative they should be raised in a non-competitive environment.
ReplyDeleteOne technique used to raised cooperative and compassionate children used by those in peaceful societies is the cherishing of infants and small by their parents, older siblings, and other members of the community (Bonta, 1997). So I would tell these parents to cherish their children, fondle them constantly, and satisfy their needs as quickly as possible. A strategy for parents that is used by many societies is for the parents to give endless attention to and lavish attention on infants, but demote them from their special status at age 2 or 3. This is another thing Bonta (1997) says the peaceful societies did with their children that worked. Additionally, if the parents have rituals with the children the research shows that they will be more cooperative. Children learn by example, so if they observe only cooperative and compassionate behavior, they will in turn be that way. Lastly I would tell the parents that according to the research, the children need to absorb cooperative, anticompetitive values from adults on a consistent basis, and have the nonviolent beliefs explained to them frequently. By doing the things stated, the parents should be able to raise cooperative, compassionate children.
Sarah,
DeleteI like that you considered providing your parent clients with all-encompassing knowledge regarding the various positive benefits raising their children to be compassionate and cooperative could have on their children’s lives. I am sure that these parent clients could and would consider the various positive effects that would undoubtedly trickle into their own lives as a result of the strives their children would make academically, socially, and individually.
I also like your idea to consider that parents are taught the technique of parents, older siblings, and members of the community cherishing infants. Doing this could help ensure the infants are being given as much care and attention as possible. Often times, working parents are not able to give as much time, attention, etc. to their infants as they would like to, so the fact that older siblings and various members of the community could do this for the parents when they are not able to should definitely be very reassuring to the parents.
I agree with you and Bonta in that “demoting them from their special status at age 2 or 3” is a good idea. Continuing the aforementioned behaviors and practices toward the infants throughout their childhood/adolescence would surely be too excessive. Through doing these things until age 2 or 3, the infants could learn that they can trust their family and fellow community members with their needs and the other children of the community could “learn by example”, as you mentioned.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteYour comments are wise and thoughtful and show much concern and insight into raising compassionate and caring children. Yet, in thinking globally it would be good to first discover what the cultural norms are in a specific culture for raising children. If this family is in a country where there has been war or ethnic tension that is creating strife then examples from a peaceful society might be difficult to apply. It would be good to ask the parents from this culture how they understand what a compassionate and caring child would like and behave. In some cultures disciplining a child is non-existent. How were the parents raised and what generational parenting skills do they possess and what will they pass on to their children? The value of understanding cultural contextualization will also give social workers the wisdom to know when to include other family members in the raising of children, if this is appropriate. In many African, Central American and South American countries generational parenting is common because of disease, poverty and economics. Raising children is a complicated task and one size might not fit all. How the West defines “compassion and caring” might not transfer in the same way.
My name is Angelena and I am a 15 year old girl. I have two older brothers that I have not seen since I was nine years old. My parents both died of HIV/AIDS before I was 5 years old. Since then my grandmother has raised me, along with my four cousins. Last year, my grandmother died and shortly after her passing I became pregnant. My son is 10 months old and I just found out I am pregnant again. Everyday I go to the market with my baby on my back and try to sell enough fish so we can survive. Life is very difficult, the rainy season is coming and many children die from malaria and other diseases. I have to compete with many other people selling in the market and I feel sick most mornings. Even so, I walk 3 kilometers each way to the market. I have to take care of myself since I have no one else. No family, no supports, just me and my son for now. I wonder how I will manage when my second child comes.
ReplyDeleteLast week some social workers came to the barrio where I live and began workshops on how to raise our children. I wondered, what can they teach us since they are not from here and don’t speak our language (Chen et al, 1996, Hare, 2004)! They were brought in by the government because in the barrio where I live there are so many young people with babies. I could only stay for one morning of the workshop because I cannot miss one day of selling in the market, if I do, someone will take my space and then where will I sell? This is what I heard. They began by asking us how we were raised and what is important to us as parents in raising our children?
My earliest memories of my mom were always being on her back or her holding me. I think the fact that she showed me love in her natural way has taught me to do the dame with my child. After all, doesn’t every mother wrap their babies on their backs and nurse them whenever they need to be fed? Sometimes when Elizabeth, the girl I live with, has to go out late, I nurse her baby for her. I think the most important thing I can do for my child is to love him (Chen et al, 1996). My grandmother showed me compassion and kindness even though she was old. My mom carried me and her back and my grandmother cared for me. She cared about me by sacrificing her time, energy, food and house for me and my cousins. I am not sure this is what the social workers wanted to hear but I could tell from the translator they were listening. In our culture (Hare, 2004, Brofenbrenner, 1980) it is common for you to show compassion for those who have less than you even when you don’t have a lot. Every one in our barrio is like famly, we look out for each other. I wish I could have attended the other workshops but I can’t afford not to make money.
From an international social work perspective, these social workers were incorporating “indigenous knowledge” (Hare, 2004), the idea of shaping social work empowerment by using cultural realities to enhance mezzo and macro development. Their workshops were respectful of the culture and their sense of empowerment came from the knowledge of the people. Their role was to help educate the parents with the knowledge they were gleaning from their workships. The concept of raising compassionate and caring children for Angelena and millions of others in her situation, will be challenged by the global forces of poverty and inequity. In a limited way Angelena will raise compassionate and caring children because of what was given to her by her mother and grandmother (Bowlby, 1979). The complexity of raising children in the culture where Angelena lives is entangled with the concept of structural violence. Even so, the attribute of love that a mother shows to her child transcends poverty, politics and disease. This example speaks any language!
Hi Michael!
DeleteI agree with Jemma; I also enjoyed how you spoke about indigenous knowledge. I think this also can be tied in with being culturally sensitive in our practice. Taking other culture's beliefs and values are very important in order to work with the people and start where the client is at.
I also like your integration of the concept of structural violence into your answer. I think this is a great example of the reaches of structural violence into the lives of those we work with around the globe.
And finally I think your last point really resonates with the values of social work. Although cultures may be vastly different the concept of something like the love of a mother for her child is universal.
Hello Michael!
DeleteFirst, I hope you're doing well! I can't wait to hear stories when you get back.
Second, this post took me through a rollercoaster of emotions. It reminded me of a time about a year or two ago when I went back to my ancestral village in India. I spoke to a young mother who had lost her husband to a car accident and was living with her in-laws with her two children. Although I wasn’t sure if I was going to be a social worker or not at the time, I was curious about her situation and how she dealt with two ailing seniors and two rambunctious boys. She spoke of exactly what Angelena spoke of; specifically caring for those who had less than you. I agree with Cate about your last point, it doesn’t matter what culture you’re from, love is a universal commonality.
Hi Michael!
DeleteHope everything is going well! It seems as if you've written a really popular and touching post here. It definitely reminded me of my time in the Philippines and all the mothers there. Who were we to tell them how to raise their children? Who were we to tell them they were doing anything wrong? It was such a difficult and heart-wrenching situation. It definitely makes you question where the true knowledge comes from. I think that point of indigenous knowledge really resonates for a lot of us. It's definitely something to think about as we move forward as social workers.
All the best!
If given the opportunity to do this as the parents’ social service provider, I would first do my best to understand who they are, where they come from, what their lifestyles are like, etc. In general, I think it is important to gain as much insight from your clients as possible in order to better understand who they are and what their needs are. After doing these things, I would like to provide them with educational tools/information that is based off of reputable literature.
ReplyDeleteThe Bonta article we read in class could be an extremely useful means for providing parents with useful information regarding how to raise compassionate, cooperative children. According to the article, there are some common themes in societies that are “peaceful and nonviolent.” It would be imperative to stress the importance of the families doing their best to enable their child(ren) to thrive in environments that are “nonviolent” and “cooperative.” According to the article, some of the major benefits of children being in cooperative environments are that they can foster more comfortable and effective learning environments for children. Also, they can give children more “intrinsic motivation to learn.” Lastly, they can be beneficial in developing/maintaining proper communication skills, which can be a big social advantage for children.
By living similarly to many people who live in La Paz through promoting cooperation, not promoting jealousy, and being respectful of others, the parents could help mold their children to be compassionate and cooperative toward others. The article states an important point that living in these ways can enable children to learn to take the stance of “peacefully taking great care to avoid aggression.” Through doing all these things, parents could take great strides in helping their children to be raised as compassionate and cooperative individuals.
Christine,
DeleteI like how you take into consideration getting to know the parents and their needsbefore diving in with techniques. I agree with you that building report and trust is very important within social work. I also agree with you and Bonta when you say that being in a cooperative environment will foster a more effective learning environment. I think in a lot of places in the US competition is often at the forefront whereas according to this cooperation is a more effective method.
Social Worker, working with different clients should always keep in mind the concept of social justice and human rights. Social worker is about helping client in finding the best possible way for their problem. Thinking as a global social worker, first of all I would try to understand the culture differences, values, beliefs of the parents, and attitudes towards such differences What does it mean for the parents compassionate and cooperative concepts, which are the main values that the parents consider important in the process of raising up the child. And then after hearing, getting more information and understanding we can give advices about parenting skills. Specific challenges include how to be honest and clear with parents without creating hostility; how to be empathic without colluding with unacceptable behaviour; how, in short, to reconcile the different imperatives of the role within practice with parents. This is sometimes understood as the challenge of working with parents (Department of Health,1995a; Bell, 1999). Nowdays Parents are faced with an enormous task in raising today's child. Social workers are about supporting families but also have to challenge families.
ReplyDeleteI would say to the parents that referring to Johnson and Johnson (1979) students, master, retain and transfer principles and concepts more effectively in a cooperative environment than competitive or individualistic ones, and cooperation promotes more and better learning than does competition, as well childrens have more intrinsic motivation to learn in a cooperative setting;cooperative environments are better than competitive or individualistic ones in the facilitation of communication skills, ability to resolve conflicts, and social and cognitive developments. Based on the findings of the researcher its shows that parents which wants that their children be compassionate and cooperative they should be raised in a non competitive environment.
Secondly I could share with them that one child raising technique used between peaceful societies that Infants and very small children are cherished by parents, older siblings, and other members of the community (Bonta 1997) Parents should firstly meet the needs of their children, and after identifying those needs to fulfill them, in the best possible way. Another thing that I could say to parents it’s that children learn by example, Bone (1997) and Hart (1998) they are influenced by a vey early age from the behavior of their parents and they should be very careful on what they are transmitting to their children, if they will be observing only cooperative and compassion behavior they will be behaving on the same way.
Beside what is mention above, I think that a positive sense of competition will encourage children to strive what they want in a proper way. The sense of competition and the spirit of cooperation, I believe are equally essential to children. During their grow up , children should be guided in a right way to compete for what they want and cooperate with their partners. This is the most effective way to educate them comprehensively and meaningfully. When it comes to cooperation, this is one kind of spirit what every child should be equipped with. First, a person who knows how to cooperate with others is at least useful to his team. That’s why in a harmony society, people are union and in a prosperous company, staffs are focus on teamwork. It is a basic standard for children to reach up. Second, learning how to co-operate with others is a good way to train children to be generous and self-control, There is no doubt that they will become useful adults with golden characters.
So I would be discussing and listening the opinion of the parents and what they think about those advices, and in reality they should find out the technique that they believe it might work, or to develop the others technique ways by trying by them children, not to take everything that it is said the like the only truth that exist.
If I would be a global social worker what I would tell parents really depends on the context, culture, values, needs and the chalengies with which they face in their life. Beside this, I think it is very important to listen them, to hear them and to accept them. I would like to have such an opportunity and I would like to come together with parents and to discuss cases in which where is some problems, which could help them to see their own situations. It would be interested in sharing, discussing, raising questions about their way of thinking, acting, what kind of methods they would use is raising children and so on. I would like that they would feel secure in raising children. I really would like to empower them. And I would like that if they want and could that they would help other families which has difficulties in raising children.
ReplyDeleteAlso I would like to talk and discuss with parents about cooperation and competitions, about their benefits, what are the differencies and so on. Of course to discuss how much it is important to understand it. I would like concentrate on solutions, encouragement, empowerment. Also to learn together parenting skills, how to implement them in practice. I think it is important for the parents to know that their attitudes and their behavior affect the child’s behavior.
I also would like to thank for Michael who gave us a real example from real life which helps a little bit to understand the context and the culture of the country, to see other people life and the challengies with which they face.
Ruta Gerasime
. First of all, I would tell them, how it is important to express your opinion and not to be afraid to say what concerns you. According to Bonta (1997), people need to compete to survive, that’s why I would try to explain for parents, that compete is not bad thing. We compete all the time ant it helps as to seek better results in all activities. Children, who grown up in competition and cooperation environment are more peaceful and helping each other, less violent. Also, they learn how to collaborate with others, make relations. I would like to know parents attitudes towards children raising and educating, later, I would make a discussion about cooperation and completion.
ReplyDeleteEgle Vosyliute
At first, I think it is very important to know what values, needs and goals have parents. Also, I think it is very important when working in groups to share their experiences and knowledge, not to be afraid to express your opinion. In cooperation, people can learn from each other to gain more experience and knowledge. Cooperative environments are better than competitive or individualistic ones in the facilitation of communication skills, ability to resolve conflicts, and social and cognitive developments (Bonta, 1997). Also, working with parents can prepare parenting skills program. Parents gain not only knowledge but also skills.
ReplyDeleteOf course, people need to compete to survive and prosper (Bonta, 1997). I should try to explain to parents that the competition is not a bad thing, because we are competing with each other strive for better results.
Firstly, i will try to find out what kind of parents are: how they were grown, how educated , what was the relationship with their parents , what core values they have been implemented. Because of the grandfather parenting depends what will be his father. It is the need to first find out what the child's parents . Then I would point out to her parents characters and their relationship with the child. As the child is brought up , which limits the rules of the family . It is also important to any family and religion , what culture the child grows. First briefly describe the social and historical context that provided the setting for investigation, particulary as related to peer group dynamics and parenting (Clyde, 1998)
ReplyDeleteThen i would try to explained , the specific aid parents want from us in communicating with children. As I understand the question , parents want to grow some sympathetic and cooperative child. I think to these parents should explain that a child learns best example is that sees his or her personality . It is also important that children see and grandfather. Example communicating with parents . Because children learn to communicate , seeing and feeling close relations with the surrounding belonging to relatives. In the socialization process, the children’s collective became an agent of adult society and the major source of reward and punishement (Bronfenbrenner, 1970).
My agency actually does a fair amount of “parent orientation” classes for new refugees. At times, I have felt strange about this, as if just because someone has had to flee their homeland, they now suddenly need parenting classes. However, our agency has observed that many cultures we come into contact with still use corporal punishment as a means of discipline. If for no other reason, we want to give them new techniques for discipline so DCFS (child protection) is not called. I like to start these classes by saying “I think we can all agree that every country has good things, and not so good things about them. I know we all love our children, and that parenting in the US is probably very different for you. So we are going to talk about common parenting in the US that might be better since you are living here now.” This takes away judgment and puts it all on the new context they find themselves parenting in. A lot of our parents do respond well when we introduce research on child development. In regards to this question, I would share with the parents the work of Bonta (1997) and Hart (1008). Bonta, as well as Johnson and Johnson (1979) describe children thriving much better in a non-competitive, and cooperative environment. This is a wonderful opportunity to play on the strengths of our clients. Many come from more cooperative cultures than the US. I would bring this up, and talk about how they are probably already doing a lot correctly. I would also point out, however, that parents need to cooperative together, which is something many of our families struggle with. Given the role of women in many of the cultures we work with, the parents are not on the same page. I would stress that Hart sees children mirroring what they observe, and that if they want more peaceful and cooperative children, they need to emulate these traits themselves. While we do work with such a vast array of cultural backgrounds, it is hard to speak to all parenting traditions. But I believe that if we couch the message in how they can get along better in the US, it is an easier pill to swallow.
ReplyDeleteI appreciated reading how you frame the topic of parenting when you are teaching about parenting at your agency. It seems like the way you talk about parenting helps to narrow the gap that can exist between clients (or students) and social workers. I am also glad that you noted that parenting is a great opportunity to play off of client strengths. In my experience, it seems that many parents' greatest strength is how much they care for their children. If social workers can celebrate this strength (and other strengths), I think social workers can really help to bring to life a client's potential.
DeleteFirst of all, in my opinion, I think it`s very important to have first good contact with parents, to let them express their beliefs and needs, their values, what they think about parents skills training programs and etc. Just let to show them,that they are important for me and I want to help them to understand different way of thinking, how we need to raising up a child doing your bests. global social worker should be flexible and to do everytning what is on his will.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, among all the dilemmas facing a parent of a child with emotional or behavioral problems, the first question-whether the child's behavior is sufficiently different to require a comprehensive evaluation by professionals-may be the most troublesome of all. Even when a child exhibits negative behaviors, members of a family may not all agree on whether the behaviors are serious. For instance, children who have frequent, severe temper outbursts or who destroy toys may appear to have a serious problem to some parents, while others see the same behavior as asserting independence or showing leadership skills. Every child faces emotional difficulties from time to time, as do adults. Feelings of sadness or loss and extremes of emotions are part of growing up. Conflicts between parents and children are also inevitable through adolescence to develop their own identities. These are normal changes in behavior due to growth and development. The realization that a child's behavior needs professional attention can be painful or frightening to parents who have tried to support their child, or it may be accepted and internalized as a personal failure by the parent.
Many parents are afraid that their child may be inappropriately labeled, and point out that the array of diagnoses, medicines, and therapies have not been agreed upon by all specialists. Still others become alarmed after obtaining an assessment for their child only to discover that the evaluator believed emotional disturbances originate in family dynamics and that "parenting skills" classes were the best way to address the problem. While many parents will concede that they may need to learn new behavior management or communication techniques in order to provide a consistent and rewarding environment for their child, many also express deep anger about the blame that continues to be placed on families with children who behave differently.
Roberta Lazauskaite
If I had such an opportunity to work with the groups of parents seeking insights from the most up-to-date social science knowledge about raising children who are compassionate and cooperative. As a global social worker, the first thing I would do, would be trying to know from what kind of a culture my clients are, what their values, beliefs are. In my opinion it is very important to know your client before providing services in order to do your best. Also it would be important to find out what are their expectations from me as social worker. Since we are consulting them about parenting it would be necessary to find out what kind of the parents my clients are, what parenting styles they are using in their daily routine. When I know my client, I can start to give them knowledge they are asking for. Firstly I would like to speak with them what the researchers say about raising children who are compassionate and cooperative. Secondly, I would speak about the importance of its and ways to teach your children.
ReplyDeletePatten, (2001) notices that raising children who care about others is a challenging task. Sometimes, parents must swim against a cultural tide that encourages self-absorption, materialism and a “what isn’t for me?” attitude - messages that run counter to the values of empathy, care and compassion. Some of the people believe, like Bruce Perry, M.D., Ph.D., co-author of Born to Love, that compassion and empathy “underlie virtually everything that makes society work — like trust, altruism, collaboration, love and charity” (B. Perry, 2010). In order, for your children to be successful it is very important to teach them to be compassionate and cooperative and this goes together with empathy. While talking with parents about empathy it would be important to speak about stages of empathy and parents role in the development of it.
Research tells us that empathetic people are more likely to be cooperative, are more likely to have higher quality social relationships and are better at resolving conflict. People who do for others are more likely to be happier, more successful and live longer. Researchers agree that children are born with the capacity for empathy. Genetic and environmental factors figure into its development, but parents can nurture and strengthen empathy through appropriate discipline, meaningful conversations and by providing opportunities to “do for others.” Teaching and building understanding of empathy for children in today’s modern world is not the easiest task but it is worth trying. Parents can override many of the harmful influences of modern culture by the examples of generosity and care they provide, by their consistent love, care and nurturing.
Jadvyga, I appreciate your comment about how raising caring children is a challenge, and can be compared to swimming against a cultural tide that encourages materialism and self-absorbtion. Parents who are not materialistic or self-absorbed themselves can be excellent role models for their children, who can learn to emulate their parents values, and be compassionate and caring. In your post below, I love the idea of what pets can teach children; not only responsibility, but compassion and empathy. You also write that taking children seriously is important; I agree, this lets the child know that their thoughts are important, and their opinion matters and is valid, all of which gives a child confidence and high self esteem. And yes, parents do need to do what is right for their own family and each individual child; there is no recipe that works for all.
DeleteAll of the parents want to raise their children with strong moral character, with the capacity to be compassionate and with the necessary skills to from healthy, satisfying relationships with others (Patten, 2001). Throughout life children and adults must work cooperatively, compassionately, and empathetically for family, community and societal groups to function (Brazelton, Greenspan, 2000). Whitson, (2011) gives a few ways how to teach your children to be compassionate, these are: be role model, let your child experience compassion firsthand, talk about compassion, volunteer your time, give your child a pet, and others. Alfie Kohn, outlines six ways that parents can encourage caring, prosocial, empathic behavior children:
ReplyDelete1. Encouraging secure attachment and nurturing;
2. Guiding and explaining;
3. Modeling;
4. Promoting a prosocial self- image;
5. Practice cooperating;
6. Taking children seriously;
These would be the first things I would like to say to parents. Of course, it is important to mention that these findings I have mentioned shouldn’t be taken strictly and directly as it is written here. Parents should transform and put them in their daily life and practices with their children. Parents need to develop their own practices that work for them and for their children. I as their social worker would like to discuss it with them and find the best way they could use most up-to-date social science knowledge about raising children who are compassionate and cooperative.
If I were working with a group of parents wanting advice on raising their children to be compassionate and cooperative, I would first seek to understand what they mean by each of these terms. I would then explain that children learn much of their behavior from others, including their parents, peers and adults at school, and others they encounter in society. This would be important to point out because many studies about children who are cooperative and compassionate are conducted in the context of peaceful societies, where children are surrounded by people with values that contribute to a cooperative mindset. My first piece of advice, then, would be for parents to model the type of behavior that they wish to see in their children.
ReplyDeleteIn peaceful societies, there is often a lack of competitive games (Bonta, 1997). I would advise parents, to the extent they see fit, to reduce their children's exposure to competitive games and to increase their exposure to cooperative activities and games such as story telling or playing music together. Similarly, I would recommend not placing high value on individual achievement, which tends to lead to competition, aggression, and even violence (Bonta, 1997). Instead, I would advise parents to value cooperative achievement and not treat individuals as special or deserving more than others. In some peaceful societies, this is done to the extent that by time a child is 2 or 3, he or she is not treated as more special or given more attention than others, even if the child is throwing a temper tantrum (Bonta, 1997). This technique contributes to the children being socialized into valuing cooperation. I would tell parents to be mindful of the extent to which a child's acting out allows him to gain attention or other things he wants.
Many societies that are highly compassionate and cooperative have rituals to reinforce cooperative and harmonious beliefs and behaviors (Bonta, 1997). I would advise parents to establish some such rituals for their families. Perhaps this could be a nightly “check-in” at dinner, during which each family member can take a turn to speak uninterruptedly to express his or her feelings about the day. Greater understanding among family members could lead to increased compassion for one another and increased motivation for cooperation. Another ritual could be a spiritual practice that encourages peacefulness and cooperation such as partner yoga.
Studies also suggest parental characteristics contribute to aggressiveness in children. Parental coercion, lack of responsiveness, marital conflict, and mother psychological control have been found to correlate with aggression in children (Chen, 1998; Hart et al., 1998). I would advise parents to be straightforward with their children, rather than coercive. I would suggest that they be responsive to their children's emotions while not letting one child's need for attention overshadow someone else's needs. Finally, I would advise parents to manage marital conflict and psychological control in ways that they wish for their children to manage interpersonal conflict and psychological issues. I would suggest using nonviolent, cooperative means of dealing with these issues.
It is important to first attempt to determine what the a compassionate and cooperative child looks like; this could vary culturally so asking the parents to outline what they see as behaviorally defining these terms would be key. Hart (1998) connects child demonstration of aggressive behavior with parenting style, such as dyadic parent-child interactions and other aspects of family interaction. Because interactions and family structures can vary so dramatically between cultures as well as within them it would be important to recognize that the families in the group most likely do not all have the same interactions and function in the same way. In Hart’s study of Russian parenting styles and aggression the following findings were exhibited:
ReplyDelete“Russian mothers and fathers who reported using more coercion had sons and daughters who were rated by teachers as being more overtly aggressive with peers. More responsiveness on the part of both mothers and fathers was linked to less overt aggression for boys. However, only father's responsiveness was associated with less overt aggression for girls. Maternal, and not paternal, psychological control was significantly associated with teacher ratings of overt aggression for boys and girls. A similar but less pervasive pattern of relationships was found for relational aggression” (Hart, 1998, pg. 694).
These findings could be applied to the families in the group, however it would be important to take into consideration their individual cultural context. More studies would need to be performed in different cultural settings, however even those would not hold true for every individual family system; I would be able to share findings with parents, but I would make sure to emphasize this fact.
Hart, Craig H.; Nelson, David A.; Robinson, Clyde C.; Olsen, Susanne Frost; McNeilly-Choque, Mary Kay (1998). Overt and Relational Aggression in Russian Nursery-School-Age Children: Parenting Style and Marital Linkages. Developmental Psychology, 34(4), 687–697.
According to Bonta, a competitive and individualistic nature is often viewed as a negative attribute (1997). I would agree that an individual who is overly competitive may establish negative practices that may affect many aspects of their life. However, I would also view a slight competitive nature as a strength which displays ones innate ambition and drive. The downfall is when this ambition causes negative views of others or negative experiences for others. On the other hand, cooperation provides a positive and successful experience for all involved. I appreciate Bonta’s example citing U.S. Congress: these two opposing political parties must work together in order to get anything accomplished. Although they often have opposite agendas and viewpoints, they must learn to compromise in order to fulfill any of their roles within the U.S. government.
ReplyDeleteThe major theme of Bonta’s article focused on how to raise children in a peaceful environment. Bonta suggests that children raised in peaceful, cooperative environments experience many benefits, such as: learning more effectively, being more motivated, communicating efficiently, having positive attitudes towards others, and more positive mental health and self-esteem levels (1997). The real challenge would be to raise cooperative, compassionate children in environments which are not peaceful or nonviolent.
A major component that can affect how parents raise their children relates to the ways in which they themselves were parented. A child adopts the values and culture of the surrounding society and a family unit is arguably the most influential element of this surrounding environment. If the goal is to raise a child who is compassionate and cooperative, a parent(s) must display the very characteristics that they are seeking to instill in their child. I would share with these parents that a mixture of competition, cooperation and individualistic values can provide a child with well-rounded experiences and a variety of perspectives. I would also suggest that parents must “practice what they preach”, as they are the most significant role models for their child.
Shannon Dooley
A. I would inform the parents about the cooperative nature that children thrive in (Bonta, 1997). It almost seems like you’re setting a child up for failure if you raise him/her with the mentality that they should always win/be right. I worked with developmentally delayed adolescent girls. One of the best ways to get them to cooperate with one another was to mirror positive behaviors. Bonta (1997) also points to positive parenting. Children learn to correct their mistake from their peers, siblings, and parents. If the parents and siblings are mirroring good role model behaviors, it will results in a more cooperative child. In the end, parents are their child’s first teacher and everything they do will impact the way the child will see the world and how they interact with it.
ReplyDeleteHart (1998) connects child demonstration of aggressive behavior with parenting style. Hart gives the example of the warm and caring mother having more socially competent children. On the flip side, I had a client before whose mother was not compassionate or warm and encourage my client to fight all her battles alone and with violence. The client told me that it’s the only way she knows how to deal with her emotions and frustrations. When asked if she thought about writing her emotions down or talking to someone about her anger, her response was “nobody does that on the west side.” It made me think about the structural violence that is so ingrained into the urban culture of the west side of Chicago.
A) As always, I would bear in mind this family’s culture and approach the method of teaching in a Freirean or reciprocal manner, allowing the parents to teach me about their ways of life throughout the teaching/learning process. However, I realize that the dynamics would be altered since the parents are seeking out up-to-date social science knowledge. I would not just be forcing the knowledge upon them, which makes the process of disseminating information exponentially easier. I would search for information that aligns with their cultural norms so they can easily relate to it. I would frame the information in a way that they can best understand the following message.
ReplyDeleteOne technique that has been found to work is to cease giving children special attention past age two or three. This helps them to understand that no one deserves special attention over anyone else, that everyone is equal (Bonta, 1997). While the transition period can be difficult for the children and the parents, it is important that the parents consistently follow through it, ignoring their temper tantrums. This practice promotes awareness that domination is not an effective tool to achieve the desired goal (Bonta, 1997). I would suggest that they encourage their children to play cooperative games as opposed to competitive ones, as aggression increases with competitive games (Bonta, 1997). Johnson and Johnson (1979, as cited in Bonta, 1997) summarized over 600 articles relating to this topic, directing their focus on young students. They found the following: cooperative learning environments are most effective in learning, retaining, transferring concepts, gaining communication skills, mastering conflict resolution, and development of social and cognitive skills, while competitive environments have the opposite effect; “students have more intrinsic motivation to learn in a cooperative setting”; students regard authority figures, people of opposite gender, diverse ethnic groups and people with differing levels of ability with more respect and positivity; and that they rate higher and more positively on scales of mental health and self-esteem in cooperative environments (Johnson & Johnson, 1979, as cited in Bonta, 1997). I would make sure to define what I mean by cooperative environment as being one in which people must work in tandem with one another to achieve their desired goals. I would also explain that a competitive environment is one in which one person must lose so that another person can attain their goals. After providing this information, I would express that I understand that it is often difficult to monitor the type of environment their children are in at school, and I would impress upon them the importance of transparent communication with their children, so they feel comfortable to discuss anything that happens at school. In addition, I would let them know how strong of an influence they have on their children’s behavior, and that it is imperative that they model the type of behavior they wish their children to embody (Chen et al., 1998). Although the parents asked for the most updated information, I would let them know that while these studies were published several years ago, the information is still very much applicable and relevant. I would thank them for their dedication to promoting a peaceful society!
Response to Jemma:
ReplyDeleteI think it is important as social workers to have that cooperative exchange of information. If we just give parents the facts I do not see that as being very effective for the parent. We need to discuss with parents and see where they are coming from to give them interventions that are going to be most effective for them personally. You do not want to give parents technical jargon that is not going to make any sense to them once they leave your office. As social workers we do not want to just give out theories. Our work is about putting those theories in to practice so they can be effective for people.
I would consider it a true honor to work with this group of parents. The fact that they are seeking further insight about raising their children demonstrates to me that they are probably already raising children who are compassionate and cooperative. With that being said, I would most definitely tell them that each child is unique and that, while studies do exist, the most important thing in raising their child to be compassionate and cooperative is simply to love and support them. I believe love and support will carry their child further than any study will show.
ReplyDeleteAs we begin to talk about what some of the social science shows, I would probably first tell them about Bonta’s (1997) findings and just how important and how far peace and cooperation and really take you. I would not tell them that they have to eliminate all competition from their child’s life; however, I would tell them not to focus on it. For example, say your child brings home a poor test score. Instead of yelling at him and being disappointed, try to encourage him, reassure him, and work on learning the material he may not have gotten right. Or if your son’s baseball team loses the championship game because he dropped the ball, try reminding him of the things he did right during the game instead of focusing on that. It is hard to eliminate competition completely as Bonta (1997) had done; but it can be minimized which I believe would help lead to empathy and compassion.
The second main point that I would like to make with the parents is that their behavior is going to be reflected by their children (Hart, 1998). It’s easy to say you want to raise a compassionate and cooperative child, but if you’re not demonstrating compassion and cooperation in the home, your child is not going to display it. Studies have shown that the relationship between you and your child is related to the amount and type of aggression that your child is going to display (Hart, 1998). So again, as much as seeking further insights and making sure you read up on all the most up-to-date social science information, the most important thing you can really do for your child is to love them.
Question #3
ReplyDeleteIn working with families who want to instill compassion and cooperative qualities within their children, it is important to recognize their home environment, a strong contributing factor in considering their temperament. The environment within the home and the education they obtain from their parents can have a great influence on their ability to express compassion and cooperative behaviors. In the Bonta (1997) article, it is noted that in order to instill compassion and cooperation among children, minimalizing violence and competition can be benefiting influences that will encourage such behaviors. Although there are studies conducted within societies where there is no competition, a possible precursor to aggressive behaviors, it is important to inform the parents the benefits of encouraging positive forms of competition and achievement as ways to increase teamwork, resilience, and cooperation.
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ReplyDeleteIf I were given the opportunity to work with parents trying to raise compassionate and cooperative children, I would do the following:
ReplyDelete1.Learn as much information about the family and community that they come from; learn about their cultural norms and values, and find out what the terms “compassionate” and “cooperative” mean to the parents. Give the parents information and ideas, but do not let them think this is the only way or “the right way” to raise compassionate and cooperative children.
2. Most importantly, explain and show the parents how children model themselves after their parents (not just the mother), or caregiver. Parents set an example from the time a child is very young by the way they not only treat others but also speak of others.
3. Children can learn compassion and cooperation from parents through not only the way parents treat their own family, but also their community members and strangers.
4. Throughout childhood parents can use age-appropriate lessons from everyday life to teach these values to their children. Compassion can be demonstrated through seemingly small everyday lessons: being affectionate to one’s loved ones, taking a lost pet back to their home, helping someone struggling in the market with their groceries; bringing food to a sick neighbor. Cooperation can also be shown through everyday lessons, such as teaching a child how to compromise when making decisions with a family member or friend.
5. Reading storybooks or telling stories to a child from a young age about compassion and cooperation, or doing art projects that foster cooperation.
6. Teaching and modeling empathy; help the child try to understand why others act the way they do.
7. Teach and model the importance of acknowledging mistakes and how to apologize.
8. Teach the child about the world outside of their own community; discuss problems and issues around the world in an age appropriate way.
Bonta (1997) writes that some of the world’s nonviolent societies devalue achievement, because it leads to competition and aggressiveness. This clearly works in some societies and cultures. I believe that appropriate and healthy competition among children can teach valuable lessons in compassion and cooperation. Competition does not have to lead to aggressiveness, but can bring innovation to a society.